


time is the most unforgiving of fires

by BulletStrong



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Brief Mention of Molestation (Detailed Warning In Notes), F/F, I'm not sure which of those it really is, Swan Queen - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-04
Updated: 2017-09-07
Packaged: 2018-12-24 01:26:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 24,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12002049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BulletStrong/pseuds/BulletStrong
Summary: "She appeared out of nowhere last night and she believes she's from some forest in an alternate universe where magic is real and she's royalty, which is really weird, but she's really kind and she's pretty in an unfair way and--""You like her."Or when a diabolical dabble in time travel brings Emma and Regina together sooner than Fate had planned. Swan Queen.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, I finally got around to writing this. It's inspired by a manip I made, which is posted right below!
> 
> Huge thanks to Keeks, who read this and gave me feedback. She's going to say it's no big deal but I really appreciated her help.
> 
> Trigger Warning: There's a brief and non-detailed mention of molestation/rape toward the end of this chapter. When you see the name "Sean", skip to next quotation if you wish to avoid the reference.

 

She eyes the Snickers bar contemplatively then peeks at the cashier, who's restocking the cigarettes on the back wall. His back is turned, obviously not seeing a scraggly young girl as a threat to the stores security.There's guilt weighing down her movements but she's shaking, her sugar has dropped low, and she needs to eat.

 

"Don't even think about it, Emma." The owner of the store warns as he lightly smacks the candy from her hand so it lands back on the shelf.

 

"Come on, Benny!" Emma stares at the candy like it betrayed her. Benny narrows his eyes as his head shakes back and forth in disapproval. It's always the same with him. He acts like she's a heathen, which is fair to believe, but he always catches a glimpse of her protruding collarbones and gives in. 

 

"Emma, you can't steal, not from my store and especially not from other stores where the owners may not be so understanding." Benny is the epitome of the American dream, if it still exists. He came to the US to leave Cuba's communism behind and opened a convenience store in Newark, New Jersey. The large Hispanic population allowed him to fit in easily, with his thick accent that's lightened with years and his mocha skin that's stayed just as attractive and smooth.

 

"Benny, you're a charitable guy." She says as she rubs her belly. She still hasn't lost all of her extra fat from the pregnancy. She sneaks into the gym every afternoon during its busiest hour to work off the reminder of what she lost. Benny smiles sympathetically, like he knows he's being played, but it's accompanied by a tired sigh, because he knows he'll give in again. "Just let me have the chocolate, please. I'm starving."

 

She holds out her shaking hand for him to see and he shakes his head again. He's probably disappointed that she waited so long to eat again, that she didn't come to him sooner. He's hard to pin down that way. Emma thinks he just might care about her, if Emma thought anyone could.

 

"You can't just have a chocolate, Emma. That isn't healthy." He stares at her collarbone as he says it. "Let’s go eat dinner, _mijita_."

 

He takes her to Melanie's, a Cuban place in Newark that he says is the most authentic and inexpensive. The waitresses already know them and have their orders memorized. Emma might be embarrassed about that if she weren't ready to keel over from hunger.

 

" _Muy flaca, niña!"_ The waitress squeezes her arm and grimaces at the bones shifting under her hand. Emma's time in Newark has taught her a significant amount of Spanish. She's not sure why she chose Newark. It's not a safe city. It's murder rate is high enough to spook most people, but it's small enough to not feel crowded while being populated enough for her to blend in and disappear.

 

"She needs some good Cuban food to fill that belly." Benny says with a blinding smile. The waitress is enamored, which Emma finds amusing considering she's ninety-nine percent sure that Benny isn't interested in anybody. He enjoys being single, even at fifty years old.

 

"My belly needs to match the rest of me." Emma whispers under her breath. She hears Benny sigh, because he knows everything. She told him when he found her outside his store, drunk off her ass on the vodka she stole from him, and he just stared at her with those soft green eyes that spoke for him. _It'll be okay, mijita,_ they said _._

 

" _No, niña! Curvas estan en estilo!"_ The waitress smirks and pops out her hip _._ Emma's eyes take in the flesh with appreciation. Latinas always mesmerized her. They had a certain beauty and sensuality that made them attractive to her, maybe because Emma could never achieve that. She has large breasts under her unflattering t-shirt but she's basically a twig on twiggy legs, and she certainly doesn't ooze sexuality. Aggression and trust issues, maybe, but sensuality was a definite no.

 

" _Dejala_ , Maria _."_ Benny flashes a smile and the waitress, Maria, physically swoons. She finally departs from their table when a bell sounds from the kitchen. Emma's eyes stay glued to Maria's curves until Benny pokes her hand and asks her about her job delivering pizzas.

 

"I got fired. The pizza wouldn't always make it to its destination." Emma says sheepishly. She hates disappointing the only man that believes in her but life's a bitch. Benny understood that better than most. That's probably why he helps her. No one else seems to spare her any kindness.

 

Unsurprisingly, Benny sighs that tired sigh. "Well, are you applying for another job? I have an opening in my store, you know."

 

"I can't work for you." Emma picks at the corner of the paper mat under her hand. "I'd hurt more than help. I destroy everything I touch."

 

"That is not true." Benny bites back, but Emma scoffs. He lets the subject drop. He doesn't like to upset her, especially before they eat. He once pushed her to get her Bugs' engine checked out at his expense and she sulked, feeling like a burden, and refused to eat the meal he'd gotten her. She almost took herself to urgent care when her sugar dropped dangerously low.

 

They eat in silence. Emma kicks herself for it even though Benny doesn't seem upset or rattled. He's pretty used to her attitudes and moods. When Benny pushes the plate of _bistec encebollado_ toward her, her stomach growls and he smirks knowingly. He raises an eyebrow and she takes the bait, gripping her fork and knife and tearing into the juicy meat without a semblance of grace. She eats every morsel then devours the _dulce de leche_ Benny insists they should share only to let Emma eat it all.

 

"Where's the Bug?" Benny asks once they're sitting in his vintage Cadillac, which looks like it came straight from 1950's Cuba.

 

"I parked it on Ferry Street, by the furniture store." She debates her next words, wondering whether to tell him. It spills out anyway. "I ran out of gas on my way to a job interview at Henry & Jack's Tavern."

 

"Emma..."

 

"I know, okay! I forgot to check the dashboard again. I screwed up." She grumbles under her breath as they drift down Ferry Street. She looks away, out the window to avoid Benny's eyes, but she catches his movement in her peripheral and turns to see him holding out a fifty-dollar bill.

 

"We're going to a gas station and buying twenty dollars worth of gas. We'll put it in the container I have and we'll fill up your car. The other thirty goes to gas, okay? That should give you two weeks." Benny's hand hovers over the stick shift and he shakes the hand when Emma hesitates.

 

It's not that she doesn't appreciate everything he does, because she does, so much so that she has a deep-seated care for the man that makes her angry with herself when she steals from him. She's destructive and she can't help it, but he somehow understands and he forgives and gives on top of it all. He's the only father figure she's truly had, at least one that deserves the title, and she feels like a moocher, like she doesn't deserve his unwavering kindness.

 

She wants to say no but she knows that answer would upset him, so she reaches over and takes the fifty gently. "Thank you, Benny. You don't even know--"

 

" _Nada de eso, mijita._ " He says, eyes glassy like he's on the verge of tears. Maybe he has some deep-seated caring for her too. People tell her it's obvious that Benny loves her like a daughter, but her past makes it hard to recognize love or at least genuine love, considering she's fallen for perfect illusions of a happy ending before. She still can't think of Neal without wanting to scream endlessly into a void.

 

Benny paces around the car, fingers sliding through his black hair anxiously, as the attendant fills up the gas can Benny had in the trunk. He's the kind of guy that's always prepared, always ready for the fall of democracy or a knee scrape. Once the can is safely locked into place between Emma's calves, they're off to find the Bug, which is always easy with its bright yellow color and rusted edges. It sticks out like a sore thumb and they find it right outside Barbosa's Furniture. He fills the Bug as proficiently as he can and Emma's able to start it, seeing a full gasoline gauge.

 

"Good to go?" Benny doesn't wait for her answer and leans into the window to check for himself. "You stay safe tonight. And please, don't wait so long to eat again."

 

"I'll try, Benny." She says, because she can't promise she'll take care of herself or be responsible, not when life throws vicious curveballs much too often. She's already tempting fate by sleeping in her car in a city where murder isn't a shock to anyone's system, but Benny doesn't know that. He thinks she lives in a crappy apartment with two other girls.

 

He departs with a kiss to the cheek and a sweet " _adios_ " and Emma's next step is to find a hidden spot to park so she can sleep. She usually stays in the Iron Bound section of Newark, knowing it's a bit safer than other parts. She parks near the recreation center, toward the back where no one from the street can see her, but just as she's about to recline, there's a flash of neon green that shakes the entire vehicle.

 

"What the fuck?" The flash is gone before she can even finish the sentence. Emma grabs onto the steering wheel and peers over the top. Nothing seems amiss, until she hears a feminine groan loud enough to be heard through the glass of her windows. Emma's hand grabs her keys and shoves them into the ignition. She's ready to get the fuck out of there. She's definitely not looking to be a witness to a murder or anything like that. With her criminal record, the cops just might pin it on her.

 

But when she hears a confused whimper, Emma stills. It's the damn Savior complex she has. She just wants to help, in the way no one helped her when she was younger and in the way Benny helps her now. She slowly steps out of the Bug, her eyes darting around the dark empty parking lot, her hand gripping her keys until her knuckles are white. She's holding the key outward, just in case she needs to use it in self-defense.

 

"Uh, hello?" Emma automatically sets her body into a defensive stance. She's had enough run-ins with drunken foster fathers to know the basics of self-defense, which usually landed her in the slammer.

 

She slowly inches forward until she sees fabric lying by her front bumper. The fabric rustles with movement and Emma almost jumps out of her skin. Out of embarrassment at her reaction, Emma barks, "Show yourself! I'm armed!"

 

Another groan sounds and Emma steps back when a figure groggily rises from the asphalt, a feminine hand using the front of the Bug to stand. When the figure stretches to full height, Emma relaxes. The small frame tells her she's dealing with a woman and, not to be obnoxious, Emma can fight better than most.

 

"Where am I?" The woman asks, her question whispered into the darkness.

 

"New Jersey." Emma replies as she slams her car door shut. The woman flinches at the sudden noise and whirls around with her hands held out. Emma can only make out the color of the woman's long hair, a deep chocolate that blends with the shadows, and her white flowing dress. 

 

The woman thrusts her hands toward Emma in a threatening manner and warns, "I am The Dark Ones apprentice, a wielder of dark magic, and I will not hesitate in protecting myself."

 

"I know most of those words yet I have no idea what the hell you just said." Emma tries to sound nonchalant but she's so confused as to why she's lifting her hands in surrender to a tiny woman who's just shaking her hands with conviction.

 

The brunette turns her palms upward and stares at them, "It's not working."

 

"Uh, what's not working?" The woman startles, like she forgot Emma was there for a moment, but she quickly straightens her spine and tilts her chin up.

 

"My magic. Which realm is this?" The woman says this with such calm, like she's asking about the weather, and Emma can't help but chuckle.

 

"Wow, you must've conked your head real hard." Emma says with amusement and a twinge of concern. Hospitals are really expensive, Emma obviously doesn't have that type of cash, and she's not sure if the woman has insurance or can afford it if she doesn't. Her long dress looks nice. It's bedazzled with crystals that could be sold at a jewelry store if they're real.

 

"I am of sound mind." The woman growls. There's a fire in her brown eyes that makes Emma's skin heat up--Emma's always had a thing for feisty women--but the fire extinguishes when she notices the car she had used to prop herself up. "What is this contraption?"

 

Emma pinches the bridge of her nose then huffs, "Who are you?"

 

The brunette lifts her chin in that snooty rich girl way that makes Emma want to punch a wall. "I am Queen Regina of the White kingdom."

 

" _Oh_. You must work at Medieval Times or something. Wow, you're staying in character past closing? That's major dedication. I give you props. I'm Emma, by the way." Emma snaps her fingers and grins. "You think you can get me some free tickets? I hear the chicken is amazing."

 

"Excuse me?" The woman-- _Regina_ , if that's even her real name--stares at Emma with wide eyes. Emma just shrugs. People get so bent out of shape when it comes to favors.

 

But Emma isn't easily deterred. "Hey, you think you can get me a job over there? I've been told I'm a good rider."

 

Regina's eyes light up. "You ride horses."

 

"Uh, no, I've ridden other things." Emma coughs. "Forget the horses. I could serve food, or clean up, or something. They pay well?"

 

Regina just stares, utter bafflement coloring her entire demeanor. Emma's about to tell the brunette about her experience with cooking (at the prison, but Regina didn't need to know that) when she spots a trickle of red on the other woman's hairline. "Oh shit, you're bleeding."

 

Regina lifts her fingers to her forehead and comes away with red staining them. She waves her hand then checks again and, for some reason, seems surprised that the wound is still there. Regina frantically looks around the parking lot, at the car, at Emma's ratty clothes and the red leather jacket Benny gave her on Christmas and looks close to a mental breakdown. Can someone that's in the midst of a mental breakdown have a mental breakdown? Maybe it's like an aftershock or something?

 

" _Oh gods_ , this must be the land without magic." Regina whispers, loud enough for Emma to catch the tail end of it. "The one Rumple told me about."

 

"Look, lady," Emma steps back toward the driver’s side door, her fingers curling around the handle, "If the cops ask, I wasn't here."

 

The car door flies open but it's promptly closed when Regina slams her body against it. There better not be another dent on her baby. "Wait." Emma sighs and Regina takes it as acquiesce. The blonde can't help but be intrigued, though she's still on alert. Regina wrings her fingers together, her brow scrunched. It's kind of cute, if Emma would take the time to think about it through her suspicious haze. "I'm not familiar with this realm and it's culture."

 

It's a plea for help without actually asking for it. The brunette tries to remain stoic but there's an edge of panic in her eyes. It doesn't make Emma feel sympathy as much as it makes her wonder if being in this woman's presence is a good idea. People tend to do crazy things when they're desperate.

 

"How can I be sure you won't rob me blind and take everything I have?" Which consisted of the rusty Bug and a grocery store bag full of her clothes. There's also a Golden Girls DVD set that she stole from the local BlockBuster in her trunk. So, all in all, it's not like Regina would score big with a hit on Emma but it's the principle of the thing.

 

"I want for nothing but my own safety." Regina looks earnest as she says it, which makes Emma relax a bit. The problem is that Emma is completely unequipped to take care of anyone else. She lives out of her car, can't really afford food, and usually commits minor theft to survive. With that in mind, she raises her hands, ready to shove Regina out of the way, but then brunette's eyes start to water. Suddenly Emma's frozen.

 

"Alright, alright!" Emma points at Regina's face. "Just don't... do that."

 

Regina quickly wipes at her eyes, looking horrified at the display of emotion. Emma can't help but wonder what Regina's situation is. She seems soft, honestly, but consistently attempts to cover it up with sharp glares and pointed words. It reminds her of herself, truthfully. Emma's easily hurt, by words, actions, and inactions, and it festers until it becomes resentment toward not only the attacker but the entire world, but she pretends she's unaffected, only allowing herself to cry when she's alone in the Bug.

 

Regina's starting to calm down and Emma realizes she has to come up with a plan. There's no way she's going to admit she sleeps in the contraption Regina had scoffed at.

 

"Okay, so, we have to drive to where I stay" comes out of her mouth before she can think it through.

 

"Drive?" Regina asks and Emma points to the Bug. "It can move? It looks... quite rundown."

 

"Hey! It moves just fine, thank you." Emma hisses. No one messes with her baby. "Get in." Regina turns to the car and stares until Emma grabs her shoulders and pushes her to the passenger side. Regina looks back at Emma and shrugs. " _Oh, for_ \--you can cut the act now! I get it. You're a real Meryl Streep."

 

"Who?" And that's just a disgrace to humanity and Emma has zero time for it. She rips open the passenger door and nudges Regina until the brunette takes the not-so-subtle hint and sits down. Emma slams the door shut and looks toward the sky in exasperation. She never liked theater actors. They took themselves way too seriously.

 

Emma gets into the driver’s seat and sees Regina looking around the interior, taking in each detail with stupefied wonder. She prods at the stick shift until Emma sticks the keys into the ignition.

 

" _Oh, my."_ Regina jumps with the vibrations of the car and Emma has to clear her throat to trap a chuckle. As Emma drives through town, Regina stares out the window, mouth hanging open and fingers against the glass. "This is marvelous! It must lessen travel time significantly!"

 

Emma's not about to get into another conversation about the wonders of cars so she just takes a right and immediately pulls into the hotel parking lot. She's hoping that the front desk is occupied by a ditz, especially since it's nearly midnight and the flow of costumers is scarce, making it hard to blend in and sneak by.

 

"This is your home?" Regina asks as Emma reaches into the backseat to grab her bag of clothes. Her cheek is pressed to the glass as she peers up at the looming building.

 

"It's a hotel." Emma responds. When it receives a blank stare, she adds, "Uh, like an inn?"

 

"Those establishments are for peasants and ladies of the night." Regina looks utterly scandalized.

 

"Yeah, well, we're ladies of the night cause we're women and it's dark out. So... come on." Emma gets out and stands by the front bumper, waiting for her new companion, but when Regina stares at her through the windshield, Emma growls and opens the passenger door. The haughty smirk on red lips does nothing to quell Emma's frustration. Honestly, hanging around with a spoiled princess was not her idea of fun and she's starting to question her entire existence.

 

"We need to be, uh, quiet cause people are sleeping and working. We don't want to disturb." Emma says as she grips Regina's bicep and pulls her to the side of the building where there's a more discrete entrance.

 

Regina gets distracted by the pool on the left and Emma has to basically drag her into the hallway. They step into the elevator right before they reach the lobby and Emma contemplates the buttons. "What's your lucky number?"

 

"I suppose eight comes to mind." Regina replies absently, preoccupied by the lit-up buttons and sliding metal doors. Emma promptly jabs the button for the eighth floor.

 

The minute-long ride up is eventful, especially when Regina started to hyperventilate because she thought the "metal box of death" was sending them plummeting to their demises. Emma lets out the chuckle she's been holding when Regina practically flies out of the elevator when the doors slid open. She didn't even wait for them to open fully, instead squeezing through. The chuckle dies as swiftly as it started as Emma starts to case the rooms, looking for a room that sounds unoccupied. She can hear snoring through some walls, moans through wooden doors, then stumbles upon a room on the left side of the corridor that's silent. She quietly takes a bobby pin that was hidden at the base of her skull out of her hair and picks the lock as efficiently as she can.

 

"Stay here for a second." Emma barks before slipping inside the room and making sure it is indeed empty. She's satisfied to find clean, made up sheets and surfaces clean enough to eat off of. Then she realizes that there's only one bed. Ironically enough, it looks to be queen-sized. "Of course."

 

Well, at least she'll get to shower tonight. Her hair was starting to become a little too greasy. She calls for the brunette, who walks into the room with caution, like she was expecting a pigsty or strip joint. Regina concedes, "This is passable." Emma just rolls her eyes at that while she takes pillows off of the bed and throws them on the floor. "What are you doing?"

 

Emma blinks at her. "I'm sleeping on the floor. It's not like I can have Her Majesty sharing. They'd put my head on a spike."

 

"Don't be childish. We're both adults. We can share this bed." Regina hesitates now, chewing on her bottom lip. "And the only reason Leopold would put your head on a spike is if we made love." Emma chokes on air and Regina smirks before it slowly fades from her lips."He's very controlling. He doesn't like when I breathe without his permission."

 

Emma's had her fair share of possessive men in her life. Neal used to get pissed at her if a man dared to look at her. Funnily enough, Emma's eyes were always perusing the female form. She isn't surprised that he was unaware, mostly because she had been unaware until a snarky, Italian inmate at the prison had kissed her between the washer and drier. That one kiss has sparked more passion in her belly than all of her trysts with Neal combined. Sex with him felt like a chore. Sex with Sandra in cell B felt like a firestorm. But she doesn't know Regina, so she just reaches over and pats the brunette's shoulder. "Your boyfriend sounds like a dick."

 

"Leopold is my husband, not by my choice, mind you." Regina's eyes, haunted and just devastatingly sad, stay glued to the red leather jacket Emma is wearing. Emma wonders how old Regina really is. She looks Emma's age yet she's married and by the sounds of it, she's at least a few months into it, maybe even years. "He's a very jealous man, even though he doesn't truly love me. He's still very much in love with his deceased wife, but he finds me attractive and uses me as he sees fit. Kings don't share."

 

"Well, screw him." Emma crosses her arms defiantly and Regina's lips quirk slightly, which is a bit of a victory. "You're a young, smoking hot chick and you don't need some dude controlling your life."

 

Regina's looking at her with wide, glassy eyes and Emma can't pin down the emotion in them. It's something she's never seen directed at her. It's an unknown that makes Emma decide to hide, like a coward, because the silence is becoming awkward or maybe the air is just filled with tension. Whatever it is, it makes her sprint to the bathroom, avoiding the other woman's gaze the entire way.

 

She takes her time in the shower, washing and conditioning her long blonde hair several times until it's soft to the touch and scrubbing at her body until the water turns grey from the grime she's accumulated over days without a shower. She starts to pull on the fresh set of clothes she had grabbed from her backseat and sighs when the cotton saves her skin from the humidity in the bathroom. Her joyous haze is destroyed when she realizes she has to face Regina, sleep in the same bed with her after giving away her attraction.

 

She plugs in the hairdryer and takes her time blowing out her hair until it's wavy. She wishes she had perfume, so she can smell nice for--nope. No, that's not a thought she's going to have. She inhales and exhales a few times then enters the room again to find Regina sitting in the same spot she left her, back against the headboard with outstretched legs. Regina disappears into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later looking freshened. The cut on her forehead has been cleaned. Emma kicks herself for not helping.

 

Regina doesn't say anything and doesn't acknowledge Emma as she lays back on the bed, and Emma kicks herself for being too forward to begin with. The last thing she needs is for their interactions to be stilted, but she's also too anxious to speak up and too proud to admit a misstep. So, she grabs the remote from the bedside table and clicks on the television. She flips channels until she finds the Food Network then keeps her attention glued on Guy Fieri even though she can feel Regina's gaze burning through the side of her head. The standoff doesn't last long.

 

"You believe I'm insane or playing some part." Regina states matter of factly. Emma can see Regina's knuckles turning white. "I'm neither."

 

She's not sure how to respond without hurting Regina's feelings, but it seems her silence is making just as much of a mess here if Regina's ever-growing glare is anything to go by.

 

"You have to understand that what you're telling me is wildly out of my league. We're taught not to believe in monsters, magic, and alternate universes. We're born, we're miserable, and then we die, all while fighting over how to live and what happens when we die. If what you're saying is real... then everything is an unknown again." Emma sinks into the mattress beside Regina until the pillows are supporting her head. "I'm not saying I don't believe you. I'm saying I'm having a hard time believing you. I'm not closed off. I'm willing to listen and willing to be proven wrong. Prove me wrong."

 

Suddenly the lamps go dim and Emma feels the mattress shifting with movement. When her eyes adjust to the darkness, she sees Regina lying down, under the covers, with her back to Emma. Her breathing is heavy, like she's about to cry. Emma can feel the anguish, the pain, in the curve of Regina's back, posing her in a submissive position, and in the way the brunette tries to make as little sound when she cries, like it was unacceptable to show this emotion. It's a position Emma knows well. She used to cower away from a foster father, Sean, who'd sneak into her room at night and touch her, first on the legs then escalating slowly over weeks until he finally did what he truly wanted. She learned not to cry loudly or else. To this day, she doesn't make a sound.

 

Emma's pulled back to present by a small, shaky whisper. "I just want someone to believe in me."

 

Emma quivers, because beneath all of the logical reasons why this can't be true, she thinks she _believes_.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to mention this last chapter but almost every location in this story is an actual place. I lived in Newark when I was young and still live close. I frequent Melanie's Restaurant (on Mount Prospect Avenue) a lot! Their food is actually amazing and inexpensive. Also, Benny is modeled after my Abuelo, Benito Vazquez. So, this story was truly a labor of love and is very personal to me. Thank you for reading, commenting, and giving me some kudos. I appreciate it more than you will ever know.

Emma grabs a pillowcase from the bed and stuffs her clothes into it, adding the travel sized shampoos, conditioners, and soaps that she could use in the showers at the recreation center the next time she felt like grimy. Regina watches her the whole time. They'd both been quiet since waking up in each other's arms then awkwardly disentangling, muttering apologies to one other. 

 

If Emma was being honest, it had felt nice to cuddle with someone who wasn't looking to get into her pants. It had been an innocent gesture of affection between practical strangers, but it warmed her to the core. Between her revelation last night and the cuddling this morning, Emma looks at Regina differently and it's made her feel like no matter what the truth is, she wants to show this woman a good time. Good times cost money though.

 

"Would you like to meet a friend of mine?" Emma asks shyly. She's noticeably softened since yesterday and she can tell it's making Regina feel more comfortable.

 

"I'd enjoy that." Regina replies, even manages a smile that makes Emma's own lips tilt up. Everything, every action and word, is said with hesitation, like they're not quite sure how to operate at this setting.

 

This transfers into the car ride to Benny's store. It's mostly silent except for when Emma turns on the radio and Regina jumps at the loud static. The rest of the drive is filled with salsa music. Benny had gotten her the cassette not long after they met, telling her she needed to spice up her life with Latin flavor. At first, she'd thrown the cassette in the backseat. She didn't like taking orders. Eventually, she got curious, gave it a listen, and now plays it all the time. It reminds her of Benny. 

 

"My daddy loves this kind of music." Regina says just loudly enough to be heard above the radio. "He has Latino roots, but my mother hates it when he tries to show me things like this."

 

"Why?" Emma lowers the music in order to hear Regina better.

 

"She wants us to move up on the royal latter, so to speak, and appearing as white as we can seems to be how she thinks we'll climb. I don't understand her."

 

"It's called racism." Emma shakes her head. Regina stares at her. "She thinks no one will give you a chance if you're a minority and therefore you have to white wash your heritage, but she's wrong. You don't have to change. Closed-minded people do. Maybe you can talk to her about this?"

 

Regina sags into the passenger seat. "I can't talk to her."

 

"How come?"

 

"Because to her, I shouldn't have a voice." Regina whispers. Her delicate hands rub at her biceps and Emma can tell she's afraid, and Emma knows why. It's almost like their stories coincide, with long threads of abuse and lack of control over their own lives. Regina looks out the window without another word and Emma turns the radio back up. 

 

Benny's store is empty when they walk in. She leaves Regina by the keychains, telling the brunette not to leave the building, and goes in search of the stores namesake. She bumps into him as he's exiting the bathroom.

 

"Emma! Good morning." He looks at his watch. "Or good afternoon, I suppose."

 

"I need to--" Emma's cut off by Benny's wave toward the door. She turns to see Regina awkwardly return the gesture. 

 

"I have a customer so give me a second and we'll talk." He says sincerely, kindly, then starts to walk away but she grabs his arm before he can get far.

 

"She's the thing we have to talk about, Benny." Emma grumbles. She's never been comfortable asking for help. "She appeared out of nowhere last night and she believes she's from some forest in an alternate universe where magic is real and she's royalty, which is really weird, but she's really kind and she's pretty in an unfair way and--"

 

"You like her." Benny finishes for her. He's got that really goofy grin on his face, the one he gets when he wins a hundred bucks at the casino in Atlantic City. 

 

"Yeah, I guess." Emma answers lamely. Benny chuckles and pats her shoulder, like they're bro's or something.

 

"So, what's the problem?" Benny asks. Emma jerks back with an incredulous look.

 

"Did you _not_ hear the part about the _alternate universe_?" 

 

" _Mijita_ , I believe we should be open to things. I believe in santería, aliens, magic, and everything in between." Benny waves his hand. "Humans think they know everything and they become closed off. I'd rather believe and be wrong then spend _todo mi tiempo_ with a stick up my butt."

 

"Okay, so I would like to spend time with Regina without a stick up my _culo._ " Emma's Spanish is shaky and heavily accented but Benny loves it. She's hoping it butters it him like it usually does.

 

He connects the dots quickly. "And time is money." 

 

"I'm sorry," bursts from her lips and she has to bite her tongue to keep emotion at bay. _I'm a bother_ , her mind provides. She shakes it off as quickly as she can. 

 

Benny pulls his wallet from his back pocket and takes out some crisp twenty dollar bills. He tucks it into the front pocket of her jeans, knowing she'll hesitate to take it even though she asked. Before she can even blink, he's moving toward the entrance of the store then stopping a few feet from Regina, who's twisting the rack of keychains in search of her name. 

 

" _Hola_ , _chiquita."_ Benny says kindly and smiles that goofy grin. Regina's eyes widen with excitement. It hits Emma that Regina probably hasn't seen anyone be so prideful of their Latin heritage, with her own father being controlled and made to feel ashamed of who he is. "I'm Benny Vazquez. I'm Emma's--" Benny looks to Emma and grins, "friend."

 

" _Hola! Soy Regina!_ " Regina's accent is better than Emma's, though it's obvious that Regina secretly learned the words behind her mother's back but wasn't able to master the pronunciations. She can picture Regina hidden away in her room with a book, sounding out words and absorbing as much of the language as she could. 

 

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Regina." Benny says as he twists the rack of keychains and grabs one from the bottom. It's a plank of smooth wood, painted a light blue, with a small beach scene painted onto the left side and the name _Regina_ spelled out in black cursive. "Welcome to our realm."

 

Regina's eyes light up in a way Emma's never seen. It's a happiness that's not weighed down by uncertainty, pain, or fear. In that moment, a flush of pure adoration for Benny flows through Emma. He knows people and knows happiness, and he can bring the two specialties together like no one else. 

 

"Now, Emma's going to take you out and show you the wonders of this place." Benny waves Emma over and lightly shoves the blonde toward Regina. The bastard is playing matchmaker. Bless him. "But before you go, I need to speak with Emma. It'll just be one second."

 

Regina nods and smiles as Benny ushers Emma off to the side, right next to the ice cream. He looks excited about something, which is probably why he didn't do the sigh of anguish when Emma came to him for money. "I think I found a job for you, _mijita_!"

 

"I told you I don't want to work here--"

 

"Not here. My cousin, Manny, works at Aaron Bail Bonds and he said that his boss is looking for some women to hire." Benny lifts his hands and squeezes her biceps. "You have what it takes, _mijita_. It's perfect for you and it pays well."

 

He obviously believes this is her chance to find a career she can strive at and she's not about to disappoint him again. She sighs. "I'll call them." She looks over at Regina, who's smiling tentatively at her, then whispers to Benny conspiratorially, "But first, I have a girl to woo."

 

" _Buena suerte, mijita_." Benny winks. "And be safe." 

 

Emma and Regina wave to Benny, who's behind the cash register. Emma stops right by the glass doors and places her hand over her heart. He stares at her with understanding and she pats her chest twice, trying to convey to him that he's there, in her heart. She leaves him with that silent declaration and places her hand on Regina's lower back as they walk toward the Bug.

 

"I hope you don't mind a long drive in the contraption. I was hoping to take you to a beach I like." Emma watches as Regina glances at the car then back to her with a smile and a nod before leading her to the Bug and buckling her seatbelt for her since she had major trouble with most of this realms devices. 

 

The radio plays softly in the background as they ask each other simple questions, like favorite colors or hobbies. Halfway through, Regina's elbow smacks into a lever on the passenger door and her window cracks open, startling her slightly then fascinating her when feels the air on her cheek. She rolls the window down more and sticks her hand out of the window tentatively, liking how the wind flows across her palm and whips the sleeve of her white dress. 

 

"It's similar to the feeling of riding a horse, with the wind rolling into you. It's one of my favorite feelings, mostly because I know I'm free. Not even the wind can keep up with me." Regina says as her fingers bend to make a circle and the air roars through the opening in the middle. 

 

"You're free now." Emma states fiercely. It lacks her usual hesitance. Maybe it's because she wishes someone had told her that at least once. "You are free to come and go, to say no, or to just be Regina, without any titles or expectations."

 

Regina looks over at her and Emma's heart pounds when she sees that unburdened smile directed at her this time. It lands straight between Emma's ribs and the blonde feels so out of breath. She's been blindsided by this attraction, this pure appreciation of Regina as a woman. She turns up the salsa music and tries to shake it off. Regina probably remains oblivious as she keeps her hand outside of the window and stares at the flickering fabric of her sleeve.

 

The rest of the ride is filled with comfortable silence underneath everything and they reach Point Pleasant's boardwalk and beach not long after, finding parking in walking distance. The first thing Emma notices as they walk up the ramp onto the boardwalk is that patrons, in their swim attire and shorts, are giving Regina strange looks, particularly at her flowing white dress encrusted with crystals. Regina is too busy taking in her surroundings to notice the stares, but Emma's starting to feel self-conscious. She's not used to standing out in a crowd. 

 

"Let’s get you a change of clothes." Emma says under her breath, only for Regina's ears. "We don't want to ruin your dress." Regina scrunches her brow, probably because the white dress is already stained from when they met, but nods.

 

Regina picks out a light blue tank top and white shorts, somehow matching perfectly with her black sandals she'd arrived wearing. The total ends up being around forty bucks and almost eats up half of the budget Benny gave her, but witnessing those toned arms and long legs made it worth it. 

 

~|SQ|~

 

The beach is packed but the women find a spot near the water. Emma lays down the towel she bought at the boutique and plops down onto it without a semblance of grace while Regina lowers her body elegantly, sighing when she feels the wind whipping against her cheeks.

 

"I've been thinking--" Emma starts and is immediately interrupted by a chuckle. Emma tries to scowl but can feel a smile slipping onto her lips. " _As I was saying_. You say you come from another realm and I just can't help but wonder how we're going to get you back home." Regina's smile drops and Emma quickly adds, "I mean, if you want to go home?"

 

Regina's fingers swirl in the sand at the edge of the towel and Emma feels a bit guilty about ruining the carefree mood, but it's a topic she's wanted to broach since earlier this morning. If Regina truly was from some alternate universe, it has to be difficult to get her back, especially when she was dropped in a land without magic.

 

"I do have a life back... there." Regina finishes lamely and a pang of disappointment rings through Emma for a reason she refuses to analyze. "It's not a life I necessarily want to return to, however."

 

Emma watches Regina palm a handful of sand then let it flow through her fingers. She opens her mouth to respond but Regina's seemingly desperate for a change of subject. "Why do you sleep at the inn?"

 

"Uh, I usually don't." Emma responds hesitantly. Her voice is steady but her hands are shaking. "I usually sleep in the contraption."

 

The way the words make Regina's jaw go slack and her eyes widen could be comical if Emma wasn't on the verge of a panic attack. Regina must sense the tension in her because her hand sneaks over and covers Emma's, squeezing until Emma's fist unfurls. Their hands stay rooted in place, one on top of the other, and it's like they're back in the hotel room, shy and unsure about their connection and its strength despite only having met less than twenty-four hours prior. 

 

"I don't know how to swim." Regina blurts out suddenly. To anyone else it probably would've seemed selfish for Regina to ignore Emma's statement, but Emma knows the brunette is trying to change the subject, having seen Emma's embarrassment and anxiety. 

 

And it works, because Emma doesn't fight the smile that flashes as she teases, "I could teach you." Emma points to the ocean. "Maybe in a pool though. The sea can be too unpredictable."

 

"A pool?" Regina mispronounces the word slightly and Emma holds in a chuckle.

 

"Yeah, it's like a huge bathtub that has chemicals in it to keep it clean." Regina's eyes widen and Emma lifts her hands in a placating gesture. "It's perfectly safe. They have one at the _inn_."

 

"That sounds acceptable." Regina nods. 

 

"But before that, how about we enjoy the beach, play some boardwalk games, and eat way too much?" 

 

Their time at the beach is carefree for the most part, which is a rarity for both women. Regina wades into the ocean until the salt water hits just below her knees then promptly sprints back to Emma when a wave almost knocks her off her feet. Emma laughs hysterically until Regina trips on sand and lands on top of her. Then they scramble to separate. Well, Emma jumps out from underneath while Regina smirks knowingly.

 

Regina keeps touching her and leaning into her the entire time. Even as Emma throws darts to win Regina a stuffed toy horse that Regina said reminded her of her own horse back home, she would squeeze the non-throwing arm and lean into her side each time she popped a balloon with her throws. It was not only distracting but it was bringing up feelings she didn't want to deal with. Regina would leave and Emma would hurt. It's a simple formula.

 

The touching got worse after Regina ate half a funnel cake, six fried oreos, and two scoops of ice cream, all washed down by two cans of soda. The sugar high was entertaining until Regina pressed against Emma and wrapped her arms around Emma's neck. 

 

"You smell so good." Regina said, her lips dragging across Emma's trembling neck. Emma's a little confused about it honestly. The brunette seems shy most of the time but has bursts of confidence. She's not sure what triggers them, but Emma's gotta say she likes it, even if she gets way too flustered.

 

Emma figured some time at the aquarium would calm her down. It was nice and chilly in there, so maybe Emma's damn cheeks wouldn't be hot enough to rival a fire and maybe Regina would be too distracted by marine life to _flirt_ with her. That does not end up being the case _and Emma secretly loves it_. She can't help but feel like something special is growing between them, a relationship full of teasing, odd respect, and attraction, but she tries too hard to dampen the hope. Hope has never been her friend. 

 

"I wish I could stay here forever." Regina whispers as she presses her nose into the glass separating her from the shark tank. Emma's not sure if she's talking about the aquarium, about this boardwalk, about this realm, or about her. In any event, she feels an odd sense of pride in the fact that she's brought happiness to the brunette.

 

A flash interrupts Regina's wide-eyed fascination.

 

"There. Now you have the moment forever." Regina is mesmerized by her phone after she shows her the picture of Regina smiling at a seal. She then forces Emma to take pictures of her at every exhibit, most notably with the penguins, who garnered over twenty photos with her majesty. 

 

Regina makes Emma buy her some fried oreos "for the road" and devours them before they even make it to the highway. The tenacity with which the brunette inhales her food reminds Emma of her days in some bad foster homes. Whenever food was available, she took advantage and stuffed herself until the point of nausea. 

 

"My husband would've been so angry if he saw how much I've consumed so far." Regina says it in a light tone, like this is an act of rebellion she's reveling in, and it makes Emma's fist tighten around her steering wheel, itching to wring the neck of a man she's never met. 

 

But she turns to Regina with a smirk and lets her eyes drift from head to toe then teasingly says, "You can afford it."

 

It makes Regina blush and her coy smile is now seared into Emma's memory. It'll always be as vivid in her mind as the sound of her sons cries as they take him away. 

 

"Do you really think so?" Regina asks timidly, full of insecurity, and Emma can't believe that someone so beautiful could feel so horrible about themselves. Or maybe she totally can but can't understand the people that cause others to feel like shit. Regina sighs, looking away suddenly. "The King tries to control what I eat. He says I'm letting myself go."

 

Which is so fucking ridiculous for so many reasons that Emma can't hold back a derisive scoff. And now Emma feels like she has the chance to change something for Regina, even if minuscule. So she smiles genuinely, because she's angry at the world but not at Regina, and says, "You are beautiful, Regina. There are no conditions attached to that statement. You're beautiful and if your husband is blind to that then it's his loss. He doesn't define what's good and right for you. You do."

 

Emma pokes at the container housing the last fried confection. "Chow down on that last one in rebellion. Do it for me, please." 

 

Regina crinkles her nose and grins mischievously as she lifts the fried oreo toward her mouth and practically _inhales_ it. Emma laughs, "That's my girl."

 

Regina looks at her with a mystified gaze that makes Emma realize exactly what she just said. Her grip on the steering wheel tightens as she exits onto I-95 north. Regina never says anything but her hand covering Emma's on the stick shift says more than words could anyway. 

 

~|SQ|~

 

The hotel is quiet when they pull into the parking lot. Emma breathes a sigh of relief, even though she knows it's stupid. The odds of the hotel noticing aren't likely, but she still worries that she'll ruin what little chance she has in life by pulling shit like this. With her prior record, they charge her without a doubt and then she'd never get a job or go anywhere in life, but Regina might just be a _queen_ and there's no way she's going to suggest sleeping in the Bug.

 

"Okay, lets grab our clothes from the backseat and get inside. The pool is right by the side door." Emma says and Regina looks confused for a moment. "I'm teaching you how to swim, remember?"

 

"Ah, yes." Regina smiles. She pokes at her seatbelt buckle until her finger hits the correct spot and the belt goes slack. Emma nods, impressed. Regina grins. "I told you I'm a quick study."

 

"Hopefully that's true for swimming too." 

 

The pool is, thankfully, just as empty as the lobby and Emma drops the pillowcase containing their clothes onto a plastic chair by the door. The room is fairly dark, except for the dull florescent lamps on the walls and the moonlight from the long vertical windows creating a tint of blue as they hit the water. The smell of chlorine is intense. To Emma, it's calming. She always loved to swim, even as a kid. Most foster families didn't have pools but she would walk to local community centers and swim to take her mind off of things.

However, if Regina's scrunched nose is anything to go by, the brunette isn't loving the smell. 

 

"What is that stench?" Regina whines, confirming Emma's suspicions. 

 

"It's the chemicals that keep it clean." Emma explains again. She dips her toe into the shallow end and is pleasantly surprised to find warm water. She unbuttons her shorts and wriggles out of them then rips her t-shirt over her head. Her shoes are thrown over her shoulder clumsily. She nearly topples over with each foot. Her underwear is utterly embarrassing though, Underdog themed briefs and a black sports bra, but her shame is undercut by Regina's slack jaw and dilated irises. "Well, you joining me or what?"

 

Regina startles. "You want me to disrobe?"

 

"If it makes you uncomfortable, no. You could always come in with your clothes on, but it'll weigh you down." Emma steps into the pool. The water is only ankle-high on the first step and Emma lifts a foot to flick water with her toe. 

 

Regina looks around the empty room, wringing her hands nervously, and Emma's about to call this whole thing off but then the brunette claws at the button in her shorts until it pops out of the socket. Her shorts fall, much thanks to gravity, and her shirt is thrown onto the ground as she steps toward the pool in her sandals and cotton panty and bra set. It's nothing fancy but maybe it's the woman wearing it that makes them seem like the sexiest articles of clothing to ever be worn. 

 

When Regina nears the steps at the edge of the pool, Emma bends to unclip Regina's sandals, enjoying the hitch in Regina's breathing when her fingers slide over delicate skin. Once the sandals are tossed in with the growing pile of their clothing, Emma wades deeper into the shallow end and crooks her pointer finger in a come-hither gesture. 

 

Regina follows Emma's lead and dips a toe into the water to test the temperature. When she's satisfied, she steps down until the water comes to her waist. Emma waves her hand again, silently asking Regina to come closer. Regina nears Emma and Emma softly latches on to Regina's hands.

 

"You ready?" Emma asks patiently. Regina nods, a bit shakily if truth be told, and Emma slowly moves them until the water grazes their collarbones. Regina shivers. Emma pulls her closer. "You'll be safe. I'll be right here the whole time."

 

Emma wasn't taught how to swim. She fell into the deep end of a foster family's pool and the father, with a beer in one hand, had been too drunk to notice. Emma had to save herself and that's how she learned. Her life seemed to follow that pattern: no one cared, Emma taught herself in order to survive, Emma survived another day. But maybe things could be different for Regina. Perhaps Regina could be taught something, something that could take her away from reality, by a loving heart. So, she _tries_ and that's what really counts, right?

 

Regina's timid at first, her strokes are too spasmodic, and she chokes on pool water once or twice, but she slowly becomes more confident as Emma continues praising her attempts. Before long, Regina wades into the deep end and navigates it beautifully, without an ounce of fear. Emma watches from the lowest step on the shallow end with an appreciative gaze. 

 

A smile blooms when Regina paddles over to her and kneels in the space between her thighs, completely ignoring the water just under her nose in favor of reaching forward and splaying her fingers across thin thighs. Emma blushes and so does Regina, even though her fingers are lightly squeezing now. Her cheeks are red but her hands are confident. The juxtaposition has Emma rattled, but she tunes it out. Regina tilts her chin up and out of the water. 

 

"I wouldn't mind it." Regina says softly, her breathe now tickling Emma's neck. Emma leans down just a bit.

 

"Wouldn't mind what?" 

 

Regina closes the space until there's only a sliver between their lips. Regina's close enough for Emma to _feel_ her heart racing against her chest. The next words, though, touch Emma in a way physicality can't. Regina presses their lips together, a barely there kiss, and purrs, "Being your girl."

 

Emma legitimately shivers when the words register in her overstimulated mind. She has Regina's hair tickling her cheek, Regina's scent combining with chlorine, Regina's arms wrapped around her, skin on skin. It's an overload, but it also makes her feel alive.

 

Emma pulls back to kiss Regina's nose, then her forehead, then her cheeks, then her lips, with a softness not many would associate with her. It doesn't go further than a tender peck but it means more. Suddenly another shiver courses through Emma, this time from the cold in the room. She lifts Regina out of the water, making Regina squeal and wrap her legs around Emma's waist to keep from falling.

 

"Put me down!" Regina's yell is muffled by Emma's shoulder as Emma jogs toward the deep end.

 

"If you say so!" Emma shoots back teasingly then tosses Regina into the deep end of the pool. Regina bursts through the water, sputtering but grinning at Emma's childish antics. 

 

Regina swims to the wall of the underground pool when Emma plops her ass down on the edge with her legs dangling in the water. Again, she's in between Emma's legs. Unsurprisingly, the sight still makes Emma's heart pang. Regina's hands rub Emma's thighs in a way that's entirely too sexy for Emma to think straight, but she tries anyway.

 

"I want to know you." Emma finally manages to say. At the quirk of Regina's brow, Emma stutters, "Its just--We don't really know much about each other. Maybe... maybe we can talk, without fear of judgement or shame or anything. I'd like to open up to you, if you're willing to be open with me too?"

 

There's no hesitance when Regina nods. "I'd like that, Emma."

 

The crazy part is that she really wants to know as much as she can about Regina, even though she usually avoided getting too close to people. She knows this can come back to bite her but it doesn't curb the desire to try anyway.

 

"How did you become Queen?" _If you did,_ Emma's skepticism supplies but she shakes it off. 

 

"I saved his only daughter from her spooked horse, he proposed, my mother accepted on my behalf, and the rest is quite bland." Regina folds her arms over each other and plants her chin on Emma's knee. "Did I tell you he's sixty-four?" Emma gasps and shakes her head. Regina chuckles darkly. "On our wedding day, I was eighteen and he was sixty-one, which isn't the deplorable part. The fact that I never consented to _any_ of it was abhorrent." 

 

"That's allowed?" Emma asks sourly. 

 

"He's the King. He makes the rules." Regina sighs. "Your turn. Why are you sleeping in the contraption?" 

 

Emma dips her hand into the pool, cups her hand, and lifts the water to dribble it slowly over Regina's hair. She smooths her palm over the slick hair and caresses until it has darkened and flattened. Regina hums pleasurably so Emma repeats the action. "I was in prison and it's not easy to adjust to life after it. It's really hard to find jobs and I just can't afford a place, so I stay in my car."

 

"How did you afford the _car_ then?" Regina asks. It's just curiosity. It lacks any judgmental inflections. 

 

"Honestly?" Emma clears her throat. "I stole it and my ex made sure I got it after I was released from prison, not that it absolves him of his shit." At Regina's raised brow, Emma sighs. "He let me take the fall for his stolen items." 

 

Emma pauses, not sure if to divulge exactly what occurred during her prison sentence. It's something she's kept buried, except for when alcohol loosened her lips for Benny, and it's the toughest situation she's gone through. But Regina looks at her with wide, kind eyes and Emma _wants_ to say it. She _wants_ to get this off her chest while sober, lucid, and prepared to receive comfort.

 

So she straightens her spine and says, "I found out I was pregnant when I was in prison and I gave him up. I gave him to a family that wanted him." 

 

It's the simplified version of the painful story but Regina still coughs on air and Emma's hand drops from brunette hair to a heaving back to slowly soothe. Regina coughs a few times more then finally looks at Emma. Her eyes show no judgement or malice. They're kind and warm and Emma feels safe in their wake. 

 

"That must've been so difficult." Regina grabs the pale hand gripping the edge of the pool and brings it to her lips to press a lingering kiss to the back of it. 

 

Emma eyes start to water and not even a swift bite to the inside of her cheek can stop it from escalating. A whimper escapes, her chest feels tight, "It hurts everyday. My kid..."

 

Regina stays quiet, seemingly unsure how to make Emma feel better. If only she knew that her presence, that the press of her lips against Emma's hand, was comfort enough. Emma cries, harder than she has in a long time, maybe since she watched a doctor walk away with her kid, and Regina's there with gentle kisses and soft caresses and, for once, Emma doesn't feel alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm SwanQueenSwen on Twitter if you'd like to chat!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to just post what I've written so far because I'm not even a fan of WIP. Thanks to everyone that has commented and left kudos.

Eventually, Emma calms down and Regina lifts herself out of the pool to give her a hug that's actually much appreciated. They break into room 108. Luckily no one catches them in their underwear out in the hallway. The room is clean and, mostly importantly, empty.

 

"We need to shower. The chemicals in the pool can wreak havoc on your hair and skin." Emma explains, her voice still nasally.

 

"Shower?" Regina's nose is scrunched. Confusion is a good look on Regina. Most looks are good on Regina though.

 

"Come." Emma gestures for Regina to follow her into the bathroom. She points to the shower head. "Water comes from here and it's like rain." Regina still looks unsure so Emma points to the spout on the bottom. "You can take a bath if it's more comfortable for you."

 

"Yes, a bath is preferable." Regina takes a moment to stare at the spout with distrust as she says it. Then she stares at Emma and says, "Perhaps you could join m--"

 

"Yes." Emma coughs, embarrassed at just how high pitched her voice is right now. A peek in the vanity reveals pink cheeks to boot.

 

Regina's hands disappear behind her own back, her bra goes slack, and Emma jolts at the realization that Regina will be naked. Regina will be nude, her body wet and slick. "Wait, I just--I need to know what you want."

 

Regina's bra hangs delicately from tense shoulders. "I thought... I thought this is what you wanted." Regina looks down at her own body then back to Emma. "You've been kind to me. It only seems fair that I repay you."

 

And that logic is all kinds of fucked up, yet Emma's eyes burn with the knowledge that Regina had been used and abused in _every_ way. It's a mentality that's been driven into her head. Emma can see it, hear it, and feel it now as she looks at Regina standing in the middle of a dimly lit bathroom ready to give her body to Emma as some kind of payment. It's horrible for them both. _Was any of it real? The flirting, the touching, the kisses?_

 

The thought sends Emma forward, the fast movement makes Regina flinch, but before Regina can't even gasp, Emma has Regina's bra fastened again. Then Emma backs away until she slams into the bathroom wall. She ignores the light switch digging into her shoulder.

 

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to. If you want to be with me, I'd be honored, but I refuse to be a part of something that can hurt you." Emma shrugs until her shoulder is only lightly pulsing with pain. "I'm kind to you because I like you, because you needed help and I know what it's like to need help and be turned away every time I ask. You're free with me. We can take separate baths, or we can bathe together just for comfort, or we can do more together, but I want you to want it." Emma pauses, debating her next words, then realizes it needs to be said. "I'm not The King. You and I are equals. Both of our needs matter."

 

Regina's stupefied, with wide, wet eyes unblinking and a stiff spine, for a moment then the tears fall. It looks like they're both crying tonight, Emma muses. Even with so much uncertainty regarding their situation, Emma comforts her with a tight hug and kind words.

 

Regina apologizes profusely for a minute, the words jumbled by hiccups and heavy breathing, and Emma just holds her and whispers assurances in return. "It's okay. You're alright. I got you."

 

Emma's grimaces as each sentences spills from her lips. She's never comforted someone her own age. For the most part, she would protect and comfort the smaller kids at foster homes. They were easier than adults. Adults meant heavy baggage that they could categorize and understand. Usually young kids didn't _understand_. They felt the fear, their bodies react to life threatening situations, but their minds can't process. So, the comfort usually consisted of lies or colorful solutions.

 

Emma once told a five-year-old in the foster home that ear muffs were magically enchanted to make everyone calm. So, little Jaime would wear the stolen earmuffs, believing it stopped Mr. Jones from beating on Mrs. Jones when all it did was drown out the sounds. Emma heard them every night. Sometimes she'd lie in bed, listening to smacks, glass breaking, and drywall cracking, and wished magic earmuffs were real.

 

And now magic may be real and Emma has so many questions but she doesn't want to believe because this could be one giant, elaborate prank. She's a lot of things but she hates being the butt of the joke.

 

"I do want to." Regina hiccups, startling Emma out of her thoughts. Emma leans her forehead against Regina's and waits patiently for the brunette to gather her thoughts. Regina blinks owlishly as she nods. "I would like to take a bath with you but perhaps we could _just_ take a bath."

 

Emma smiles reassuringly. "That sounds nice."

 

At Regina's hesitance, Emma makes the first move. She pulls her sports bra over her head and steps out of her briefs, leaving her completely exposed to Regina's gaze. She shivers as she waits for Regina, who's hands are shaking. Emma lifts her hands to cup the brunettes’ pink cheeks. "If at any point you start to feel uncomfortable, tell me and we'll stop. Okay?"

 

Regina chuckles darkly. "I'm acting like a damn blushing virgin when I'm so far from that."

 

"Sometimes just being close and intimate is more nerve wracking than sex." Emma says, leaning in to place a kiss on Regina's forehead. "When I first started dating my ex, he would try to cuddle up to me after we had sex and I felt so uncomfortable when he did it. Intimacy felt like a chore, something I had to do to make him happy. Eventually, I realized that sex was easier because sex could be impersonal and I was used to impersonal relationships and people who just took from me without asking." Another kiss lands on Regina's forehead. "You don't have to push yourself. Whatever you feel comfortable doing is fine by me."

 

It's the right thing to say because Regina starts pulling at her bra until it slides off and lands on the porcelain tiles at their feet. Emma tries to keep her gaze above the collarbone but the temptation is too great and she's peeking not a second later. Regina's breasts are full with pink nipples that contrast her olive skin beautifully. She looks like some goddess, with her long hair framing her body and the bulb above them creating a halo effect in the space.

 

"You're beautiful, Regina." The words still make Regina blush like it's the first time she's heard them directed at her. Hopefully, one day, she'll look in the mirror and see what Emma sees.

 

As Regina toys with the waistband of her panties, Emma gives her a moment to collect herself by turning on the water and letting the bath fill. When she turns around, Regina is completely bare and Emma nearly keels over at the vision in front of her. Regina grins as she watches Emma scramble for the shampoo and conditioner.

 

"Ready?" Emma tries to smile to disguise how shy she feels then turns her back to shut off the water flow. Regina's hands snake around her waist.

 

"I'm ready, but are you?" Regina asks softly, her hands moving in a circular motion on Emma's belly. Regina's nipples are pressing into her back.

 

"I'm ready." Emma inhales sharply. "Just nervous, is all."

 

The anticipation is sparking her anxiety and, frankly, she hasn't been confronted with such powerful feelings for anyone before, at least not romantically. She loved Neal, in her own way. He was the first person to make Emma feel cared for, but it was an illusion and in the end, he was just like the rest. Maybe that's a part of it too. Maybe she's waiting for the part where Regina leaves her.

 

"Get in." Regina's voice commands as her lithe hands slither back around her waist to poke at Emma's back. The shyness leaves them both as Emma positions her body against the back of the tub and spreads her legs so Regina can squeeze in the space. It's tight, intimate, with Emma's core and breasts rubbing against Regina's back and Regina's hands on Emma's thighs on each side of her. Emma moves Regina's hair to the side to kiss her neck. The heartbeat under her lips is racing and Emma smiles against the flesh.

 

The tub is small and rectangular, making them fit together snugly, and the water just brushes the underside of Regina's breasts. Emma feels quite content with the situation, but one thing is pressing on her mind.

 

"How did you get here?" Emma whispers into Regina's hair.

 

Regina understands immediately. "I was standing in front of my mirror, waiting for my husband’s daughter to come barging into my room, when a woman with red hair and, as crazy as it seems, green skin appeared behind me." Emma quirks a brow disbelievingly while Regina remains oblivious and rattles on, "She told me she would get everything she deserved if I didn't exist. I thought she was going to kill me, honestly. She seemed so angry."

 

"How did you get away?" Emma asks.

 

"I didn't. She threw something down and suddenly there was a flash of green. It started to suck me into it." Regina's hands squeeze Emma's muscular thighs. "I remember making a wish as I was being dragged into it. I wished to go to the place I'd find my happy ending. Then I was surrounded by green and felt weightless until I was slammed into this realm, quite literally."

 

Emma sighs. "Did the woman look familiar?"

 

"This may sound strange--"

 

"After meeting you, nothing seems strange or impossible, Regina." Emma snickers into the brunette’s ear and Regina chuckles at the light teasing.

 

"But truthfully, she seemed familiar but I felt like I couldn't pinpoint where I'd seen her before." Regina presses into Emma more firmly. "Either way, she had a bone to pick with me. She wanted me gone for whatever reason. If only she knew she was doing me a great service getting me out of that hell."

 

"I'm glad she did, even if she thought she was doing something malicious." Emma smiles into brown hair. "I'm glad you're safe and you weren't hurt." Emma reaches around and lightly rubs at the healing wound on Regina's forehead. "Well, except for this."

 

Regina looks over her shoulder and smiles brightly at her. The conversation dies out and the two just enjoy the peace and quiet. When the water starts to turn lukewarm, Emma lifts them both and turns on the shower. She pops open the shampoo after Regina tilts her head back and wets her hair to lather Regina's scalp, massaging until Regina's hand slides down her bicep in a silent command to let her rinse out the suds. Regina does it for her once she spreads conditioner into her hair. Emma moans when Regina's nails scratch her scalp and the brunette chuckles into the steam surrounding them.

 

"You should be flattered, not teasing me." Emma jokes, winking as she turns into the water and smooths out her rinsed hair. She spreads extra conditioner into her hair since it tends to tangle easily as it dries.

 

When they step out of the shower, Emma hands Regina a towel then grabs one for herself. She dabs the moisture off of her skin then wraps her hair with the damp towel. She goes back into the room and grabs a pair of large t-shirts Emma had gotten from a thrift shop a few months back. Regina waltzes into the bedroom, already clad in her bra, and Emma hands Regina the light blue t-shirt with some Disney princess on it while taking a Wonder Woman shirt for herself. She doesn't bother putting her bra back, instead choosing to wash it in the sink and hang it on the towel rack to dry, but she grabs two briefs. The one she bought two nights before Regina arrived, which she hadn't used, was given to her brunette companion.

 

They're a hodgepodge personified but they're comfortable, which is all that really matters. They're also cuddling, facing one another, and, for once, the intimacy doesn't make Emma want to run. She thinks it probably means something but she's too drowsy to analyze it.

 

"Emma?" Regina's voice cuts through the silence.

 

"Yeah?" Emma's eyes start to drift shut. She coughs and tries to keep them open.

 

"I really like you." Regina sounds so serious that Emma's heart palpitates with some energized form of glee. She suddenly doesn't feel so tired.

 

"I really like you too." Emma responds sincerely, punctuating her words with tightening of embrace. Emma leans in to kiss her on the nose, but Regina shifts and connects their lips passionately. It's harder and hungrier, and Emma feels it in her very being that this is the only woman she wants to kiss ever again.

 

But she pulls back, ignoring Regina's groan, because she doesn't want to rush and kisses like that lead to a lot of things they weren't ready for. Emma smiles to reassure Regina that the kiss was very much wanted then leans in again to place an innocent peck on the scar across Regina's upper lip.

 

"We should get some sleep." Emma mumbles tiredly. Without Regina's lips on hers, the drowsiness comes back full force. "I was thinking we could do a picnic tomorrow at Liberty Park."

 

"That sounds lovely." Regina declares with a smile that's all teeth and happiness. "Let me use the--" Regina points toward the bathroom.

 

"It's called a toilet." Emma answers jovially. 

 

"Yes, that contraption." Regina runs into the bathroom.

 

If Emma had known what was about to happen, she would've said more, done more, but she doesn't, so she lays in bed daydreaming of a blanket on grass overlooking the Statue of Liberty and sweet kisses she'd never get to exchange on it.

 

~|SQ|~

 

_Rumple appears in Regina's bedchambers with a flourish. "Regina! A little birdie mentioned you've been looking through your mother's things. Such curiosity will get you slaughtered, dearie."_

 

_"Or worse." A heavily-accented female voice calls out from the shadows._

 

_"Show yourself. I don't like to play games." Rumple sneers._

 

_The voice laughs maliciously. "Well, now, that's quite a fib, Dark One. Games are your forte."_

 

_"Show yourself." Rumple repeats, his voice has lost all of its false playfulness. The woman slowly walks out of the shadows toward Rumple. Her flaming red hair and green skin give the Dark One pause. She reminds him so much of Cora that he startles, the sneer falling from his lips._

 

_"I traveled a long way to see you." The woman remarks offhandedly as she picks up Regina's hairbrush and strokes the handle._

 

_"Where is Regina?" Rumple calls out as he flicks his hand and makes the hairbrush appear in his palm._

 

_"Not here." The woman dramatically gestures around the empty bedchambers. "But I am."_

 

_Rumple's curiosity becomes too great. "And who are you, exactly?"_

 

_"Zelena." The red head grunts. "Cora's first born and greatest shame. Ringing any bells, Dark One?"_

 

_"Some." Rumple shrugs. "Now, what did you do with Regina?"_

 

_"I'm surprised you don't know already." Zelena mocks as she steps closer to one of the most feared men in all of the realms. "I sent her away in a portal."_

 

_"Impossible." Rumple growls._

 

_"For you? Perhaps." Zelena chuckles darkly. "For me? Not really. You see, I have much more knowledge and means pertaining to portals."_

 

_Rumple glares at Zelena with unrestrained rage. Her ambiguous answers are leading them nowhere. She notices his frustration and quickly pacifies, "I'm here to help you."_

 

_"By sending away my apprentice? Not likely, dearie."_

 

_"I came to be your partner." Zelena explains, but Rumple chuckles darkly. She continues despite his cold reception. "I come from the future. I know things, have learned things, that could be invaluable to you. I could be your chosen witch. I will cast the curse and we will rule any realm you wish to conquer."_

 

_Rumple stares at her, the heat of his anger bubbles under his skin, but Zelena moves closer and carries on. "My sister cannot hold a candle to me. My abilities far supersede hers. I want what I deserve, what she takes for granted." Zelena's hand lifts and her nails run down Rumple's rough cheek. A second passes then he grabs her wrist with enough force to make Zelena cry out._

 

_"Bring her back or I'll make you wish you were never born." Rumple growls dangerously. His eyes are narrowed with hatred. His magic tightens around Zelena's neck making her sputter from lack of oxygen._

 

_"But--" Zelena's sentence trails off as his grip on her throat tightens._

 

_"Bring Regina back."_

 

_Zelena desperately searches the pocket of her dress. She finds the bean and throws it down, creating a swirling neon green vortex on the concrete ground. Rumple watches on in amazement, his hold loosening until Zelena falls to the ground._

 

_"Regina." Zelena whispers into the vortex, an image of her sister clear in her mind._

 

 _~_ |SQ|~

 

Emma's eyes close while she waits, the hectic day catching up to her. Just as she's about to slip into sleep, she hears Regina yelp.

 

"Regina?" Emma calls out as she jumps off the bed and stares at the bathroom door. "You okay?"

 

A neon green light shines through the openings of the door. " _No_." Emma sprints to the door and throws it open to find Regina hanging onto the towel rack, her legs flailing in the air as the vortex tries to suck her into it. " _Regina!_ "

 

Emma grabs onto Regina's arms and the brunette lets go of the towel rack to wrap her arms around Emma's torso. The vortex whips Emma's hair and clothes but doesn't move her body. It's not trying to take her.

 

"Emma, _please_ hold on!" Regina cries. The hold is only stays strong from a few moments. Regina's hand's start to slip from Emma's back to her sides.

 

"Hold on tight!" The blonde tries to pull them out of the bathroom but it's no use. The pressure of the vortex is too great. Regina's fingers twist into Emma's shirt on each side but her the grip is loosening. " _No, no, no._ "

 

Regina's fingers slip, her arms go flying back toward the portal. The only thing tethering Regina to this realm is Emma's bruising hold on her forearms. Regina grimaces at the slight pain but Emma can't reposition without risking losing her.

 

Emma's feet start to slip on the porcelain tiles and her left hand flies from Regina's arm to the ground to brace her for the fall. Her ass lands awkwardly on the hard tile so there's definitely going to be a nasty bruise. She tries to readjust to wrap her arm around Regina but she's too late. The pull is too strong and Regina's arm slips through her fingers.

 

 _"Regina!"_ Emma shouts with so much anguish that her voice cracks halfway through and tumbles into a wail. It feels like it happens in slow motion. She watches her fingers reaching out, Regina's arm extending as much as it can to graze Emma's fingertip, and her heart breaks when she sees the frantic panic in those brown eyes. _"Regina!"_

 

The panic in Regina's eyes turn to resignation and something in Emma breaks. Regina's mouth opens but the words are never heard. The vortex swallows her, taking her away from Emma, who cries into the rough bathroom mat under her cheek and curses her gut for being right again.

 

She should've known happy endings never happen for people like her.

 

~|SQ|~

 

A week passes in a haze after Regina disappears into thin air. Emma binges on stolen bags of potato chips and vodka then cries to salsa music. She also misses sleeping in a bed and gets frustrated each time a seat belt buckle pinches her side.

 

By that Saturday, Emma musters up the courage to waltz into Benny's shop. When he sees her, he freezes to heave a sigh of relief.

 

"Emma! _Mijita_ , I was so worried!" He wraps her into a hug that's much too tight and Emma's eyes water automatically. When he pulls back, he frowns and wipes her face with the handkerchief he had stuffed in his shirt pocket. _"Qué pasó?"_

 

Emma tries to smile nonchalantly but the tears and fast breathing combat it. "I'm heartbroken, that's all."

 

Benny's frown deepens. "I got nervous when you didn't come around. I went to your apartment and some _pendejo_ opened the door." Benny crosses his arms and Emma's sweating. She doesn't want to have this conversation, not now. "He told me you don't live there. I thought you ran off without saying goodbye."

 

He's obviously hurt and Emma feels like a total jackass. She's been selfish, wallowing in her own sadness, and completely disregarding the feelings of those that care about her. Emma sags against the wall by the keychains, which is a painful reminder that the keychain with Regina's name on it is on the floor of her backseat, and sighs. "I don't live there, Benny."

 

"Then why--"

 

"I lied. I don't have an apartment." Emma can't look at him. She doesn't want to see the disappointment. "I sleep in the Bug."

 

There's a stretch of silence that makes Emma's stomach roll then a hand clasps hers and pulls her into a hug she definitely wasn't expecting. Benny's hand softly lands on the back of her head. It's a move she's always envisioned a father pulling, if she had one. Benny pulls back, his eyes full of steely determination, and says, "No more of this. No more lying or stealing. No more sleeping in a car. Your life turns around today. You hear me?"

 

"I wish it were that easy but--" Emma's interrupted by a kiss to her temple.

 

"You will come stay with me at my home, we will call about the bail bonds job, and you will turn your life around." Benny shakes his head. "Your problem is that you still think you're alone in this, but I'm right here. _Mijita_ , blood doesn't make a family. Love does. And I love you."

 

"I..." Emma trails off, stunned into silence. Benny takes it as hesitation.

 

"Please, accept my offer. Let me help you."

 

When Emma nods, Benny smiles so brightly it rivals the sun. Emma thinks maybe she can make him proud. He's all she's got.

 

She moves into his little house on Chambers Street. It's three stories, with Benny on the first floor as the landlord and two couples on the second and third floors. The couples don't have children so they take all that extra love and send it to Emma by cooking her traditional meals from their countries and teaching her how to salsa properly. Her hips can't quite move like Silvia's from the third floor but they tell her she's pretty good for a _gringa_ , which she takes in stride. The music doesn't make her as melancholy as before but she always thinks about Regina when she hears it. She manages to remember the good moments rather than their last.

 

The job is in her wheelhouse and the self-defense training comes in handy. She makes money and puts it into the savings account Benny opened for her. She's steadily working toward her monetary goals with Benny's financial advice and her parole officer gives her raving reviews now. She doesn't steal anymore because she doesn't have to. Her housemates keep her stomach full and the dancing has sculpted her body. The reminder of what she lost has whittled down to a hard abdomen.

 

Benny doesn't ask about Regina, which Emma's grateful for. She's not ready to talk about the loss. She's not ready to hear people degrade what she felt because of her age or the amount of time they knew each other. It just feels wrong to listen to someone denounce something that felt so _right_. Whenever anyone asks about the keychain on her key ring, she tells them it's from someone she lost and they don't ask for fear of dredging up tough conversations. It works. She wakes up, compartmentalizes like a pro, catches assholes that skip bail, and does it all over again, day in and day out.

 

She stays with Benny for a year before she decides to get her own place. Apartments in Newark are cheap if you aren't picky and she can finally afford a place of her own. Benny pouts for a week before she leaves but does help her move the stuff she's accumulated over the last year. She makes sure to pocket the keychain on her way out.

 

She's still adjusting to the quiet that comes with being solitary. Benny invites her to dinner but she declines. She needs to get a routine going, maybe learn how to cook.

 

 _"Since you're not gracing me with your presence tonight, I'll be at the store."_ Benny texts right before Emma pops some toast into a pan. Grilled cheese has become her sole expertise. After munching on the grilled cheese halfheartedly for ten minutes, Emma lies down on the couch she bought, which is a fact she's very proud of.

 

Her eyes drift close, the boredom of being alone seeping into her bones. In these moments, she misses the loud conversations and blasted music. Hell, she's always missing it, but she's determined to make it on her own. She can't continue to be a burden on Benny.

 

She's confused by the ringing of her cellphone, especially when she checks the clock and finds its past midnight. No one really calls her, only Benny and her boss and they're both usually preoccupied at this time of night. She picks up the phone and flips it over to see Benny's face. It's a picture she took a month ago at Benny's birthday party. He's smiling real big, his green eyes are sparkling, and his black hair is perfectly smoothed back. It brings her comfort to look at him. Sometimes, when she's nervous, she'll click on the phone and stare at it, hearing his comforting voice in her head telling her that everything will be alright.

 

She presses to accept the call and places the phone to her ear. " _Hola_ \--"

 

"Is this a... Emma Swan?" It's not Benny. The voice is deeper, rougher, and it makes Emma's breathing speed up. _Why is someone else using Benny's phone?_

 

"Why do you have Benny's phone?" Emma practically shouts into the mic on the cellphone.

 

"Ma'am, I am an office of the Newark police department. Mister Vazquez has you down as his emergency contact." Now Emma's hyperventilating and crying and downright inconsolable. The officer seemingly remains unaffected by the outburst. "He's been taken to Saint Michaels. I'd urge you to come down here."

 

She breaks every speed limit on the drive over and somehow doesn't get pulled over. She's pretty sure she took two parking spots in her hastiness but she doesn't care, not when Benny could be hurt. _He can only be hurt, right?_ The universe or God or whatever the fuck dictates their lives wouldn't take him away, not someone like him. People like Benny are supposed to live to one hundred and dish out wise advice as they chill out in their rocking chairs. Benny was supposed to let Emma make a name for herself so she could take care of him for once.

 

The ER is packed and she's getting looks because she's wearing Marvel flannel pajamas with a red leather jacket and her hair is piled onto the top of her head, but Emma's focused on her goal so she just glares them down. She manages to push through to the front desk. The receptionist is flustered by all of the movement around her but Emma can't feel anything but panic right now so she barks. "I need to see my dad!"

 

The woman flushes and scrambles toward Emma. "What's his name?"

 

"Benito Vazquez!" Emma reaches up to remove her glasses and is embarrassed to find her cheeks wet. "The cops told me to come but they didn't say what was wrong."

 

The receptionist flinches at her scathing tone but types on the computer for a moment then politely responds. "He's in surgery right now." She waves over a nurse and tells her, "Take her to the surgical waiting room."

 

The nurse in pink scrubs leads her to large room with dozens of chairs and two televisions hanging on opposite walls. There's three families waiting and then there's Emma, sitting alone in the middle of an empty row of chairs, clutching her red leather jacket, and trying desperately to control her rising panic.

 

She's not sure how many hours pass, but she's lonely and, for a moment, wishes Regina could be with her again. But Regina is gone, unavailable to her, and the only person that she loves is somewhere in this hospital, possibly hurt or worse. A bone deep sadness overtakes her and she doesn't care that she's basically sobbing in the waiting room.The others stare at her but she can't find it in her to care.

 

She hears footsteps coming toward her. She knows it's a doctor and she's terrified of seeing a sympathetic frown. She looks up and there's a man, obviously the surgeon, standing at the center of the room. The other families step close to him but he calls out, "Family of Benito Vazquez?"

 

She raises her hand like she's in high school then quickly scrambles from her seat until she's standing within a few feet from him. The surgeon blinks at her, most likely wondering why a skinny white girl is here for Benny, but Emma can't stop staring at his pale face. It's ghostly. When his mouth pulls down into a frown, Emma's heart drops.

 

" _No._ " Emma's hyperventilating again, but now she can't calm down. " _No_. Don't frown at me like that, _like you're sorry for my loss_."

 

"Miss, I'm afraid--" He pauses when Emma drops to her knees but doesn't move to comfort. Perhaps it's for the best. "Mister Vazquez was shot twice during a convenience store robbery." Emma's heart stops. He was there because of her, because she didn't go hang out with him. The doctor doesn't notice her reaction. "The first bullet only grazed his arm. The second pierced his lung. I'm sorry. He wasn't able to pull through."

 

Emma's head snaps up. " _He wasn't able to pull through._ It was _your_ job to save him!"

 

She stands slowly and points a finger at it menacingly. Her face must give away her anger because the other two families step in between her and the doctor. Funny how they didn't bother to help her when she was sitting all alone crying earlier.

 

The worse part has to be that they start to ask her questions about his wishes after death. They're questions she has no answers to. She and Benny never spoke about death. They were both too young and he was too full of life.

 

They give her his belongings and she sifts through them as she reclines on a hospital bed in a room she snuck into. His wallet is full of pictures, of his employees, of himself in front of his store, and, to her shock, of Emma. She has several of her intermixed with the rest. She wonders if she ever brought him any comfort. In between two dollar bills is a business card.

 

Emma rubs her fingers over the black lettering on it. "Angel Santia, attorney at law."

 

She wipes at her face as she reaches for her phone, as if the attorney will see her misery. He'll certainly hear it in her much too nasally voice. She dials the number on the card and the call is answered after a few rings.

 

"Law office. How may I help you?" The receptionist asks politely. Emma can imagine her slouching in her chair behind her desk, bored and just wanting to get home, while Emma's world is crumbling. The negative voice in her head is repeating over and over that she has no right to be so distraught.

 

"I, uh, need to speak with Angel Santia." Emma stutters hoarsely. She swipes at her nose with the sleeve of her flannel pajamas.

 

"He's with clients right now and cannot come to the phone. I could take a message or you could call back." The receptionist drawls. Emma hears paper shuffling and a pen being uncapped.

 

"Please, can you just ask him if he can talk to me?" Emma asks. The receptionist sighs but asks her name and reason for calling. "Just tell him that Benito Vazquez is dead and he had the lawyers card in his wallet. Please, I need help."

 

Music sounds in her ear and Emma drops her head back against the bed, staring up at the ceiling. None of this feels real. He can't be gone. She can't be gone. In this moment, Emma feels more alone than ever. There's nothing worse than getting a taste of family only to have it ripped away, especially so senselessly.

 

"Hello?" It's not the receptionist. The voice belongs to a male and sounds unbelieving.

 

"This is Emma--"

 

"Emma Swan." He finishes for her. She nods even though he can't see her.

 

"Yeah, how--"

 

"Is Benny really gone?" He asks quietly, like he can't fathom that he's actually asking that question. Emma covers the mic and sniffs before pulling the cellphone back toward her mouth.

 

"Yeah." She says, unable to say the full phrase. The man goes silent for a few moments then sighs like he's holding in tears. Emma can understand why.

 

"Where are you?" He clears his throat. "We have things to discuss."

 

"Saint Michaels."

 

"Meet me at the main entrance in thirty minutes."


	4. Chapter 4

"Wait, I'm sorry." Emma stares at the cafeteria tabletop in disbelief. "He did what?"

 

Santia pops open his briefcase to grab papers and places an envelope with her name written in cursive across it on the table then slides it over to her. "He left you everything, Emma."

 

"I don't... I don't understand." She's befuddled and overwhelmed. She met Santia at the entrance. His luscious black hair bounced with each step and his gold rings and spiffy suit made him stand out among the crowd. His arrival brought a whirlwind of information Emma can't process fast enough. He spoke with the hospital's billing department and with the administrative staff to get Benny's wishes in order. He presented Benny's will and instructed that the man’s ashes be given to Emma once the process was completed. The blonde followed him around like a lost puppy.

 

Santia slides on his glasses to look closely at the paperwork in his hands. "He came to my office about a year ago--you know he liked to always be prepared--and told me he wanted to amend his will. Let me tell you, I advised him against this, but he was adamant. In case of his passing, you inherit the entirety of his estate."

 

"H-His estate?" She's too stunned to think clearly but Santia doesn't look perturbed.

 

"Yes. His estate is comprised of his bank accounts, properties, businesses, everything he ever owns." Santia prods at the envelope in front of her. "It's all yours now. He wrote this to explain."

 

Santia walks off to enter the cafeteria line, leaving Emma to stare at the white envelope with her name in Benny's handwriting. She runs her fingertips over the lettering, trying to absorb whatever energy he left behind. She smiles, her eyes wet as she looks skyward. "You crazy fool."

 

Her fingers slide under the top fold and run across it until the flap pops up. She slides the white paper from the envelope and unfolds it. Benny's handwriting is scrawled all over the page and her chest tightens at the sight. She flattens the letter against the table and keeps it flat using her forearms.

 

_"Dear Emma, if you're reading this, that means I'm gone and you're probably scared and unsure of what comes next. I bet you're also calling me a fool for leaving my estate to you, but, in all honesty, it was the easiest decision I've ever made. Eres mi familia, mijita._

 

_I want you to sell the store, sell my house, and empty my bank accounts. I want you to live comfortably, without worries. You're going to tell yourself you're undeserving of this, but I've never known anyone more deserving than you, mi niña._

 

_Go find your happy ending. I'll be with you the entire way. Con amor, Benny."_

 

She stares at the messy handwriting for a few seconds, thinking about his voice and how he would sound if he said these things. She smiles as she thinks about his accent. He'd stumble over the English and smile about it because it made her grin. Then she realizes that she'll never hear his voice, that she won't be able to call him or listen to him tell a drawn-out story about Cuba. Her arms fold over the table and she cries into her flannel sleeves.

 

Santia returns with two slices of apple pie and sets one right next to the letter, by Emma's side, then plops back into his chair. He doesn't comment on her red eyes. She stares at the apple pie and can't help but wish it was dulce de leche.

 

"You said you advised him against doing this?" Emma inquires.

 

Santia wipes his mouth with his napkin. "I did. You had just moved in with him. You weren't blood related nor legally bonded and he hadn't known you long. I thought perhaps you were trying to mooch off of him."

 

The words make Emma flinch and she feels her hackles rising. "He meant so much to me."

 

Santia's brown eyes appraise her genuinely. After a long stretch of silence and stares, he whispers, "I see that now."

 

Emma looks away, at the entrance of the cafeteria where two nurses are laughing about something. It's interesting how a group of people can be congregated in the same place but feel such vastly different emotions. When she turns back to the lawyer, he's scraping at the remaining sweet jelly on the plate with his fork. His shirt isn't buttoned properly, Emma notices. She imagines Santia rushing to get here after her phone call, grabbing at any crinkled shirt and throwing on a mismatched blazer to disguise just how disheveled he is.

 

"You cared about him." Emma states matter-of-factly. Santia acts unaffected but his jaw is clenched.

 

"I did." He responds eventually, before taking a sip of his bottled water. "He was a good person and an even better friend." Santia slouches in his chair and runs a hand over his face, rubbing at his eyes during the descent. "What will you do now?"

 

Emma ponders that for a moment then smiles. "I'll be out there, somewhere, attempting to be as good of a person as he was."

 

~|SQ|~

 

When she received Benny's remains in a shiny urn, she cried until she fell asleep. She cries all the time now, not just because he's gone but because his absence has made Newark feel less like a home and more like a painful reminder. Everywhere she looks, she sees Regina and Benny. It's making her itch to run, something she hasn't felt like doing in a while.

 

Her worst days were the days she put the store on the market and when she alerted the tenants in Benny's building that she was selling. She wishes she could be their landlord and let them stay but Emma's going to run, just like she always does, and she can't have roots here anymore.

 

She takes Benny in the car with her so he can sightsee. It helps ground her while she waits for the real estate agent to call and the tenants to move. The cops sometimes give her looks when she calls them to pick up the targets she catches.

 

She places the urn on her bedside table at night, only moving him to the living room when she's performing... nighttime rituals. It's stupid but she feels like he's watching her and he's basically the only father she's known, but she's got needs, especially when she can't stop thinking about Regina's body slick against hers.

 

It doesn't take long for the store to sell. It's in a prime spot and the store had been successful so other entrepreneurs had been chomping at the bit to get a piece. The building takes a bit longer, about six months, but she gets paid so she's happy. Plus, the new owner doesn't kick the previous tenants out so Emma leaves Newark with a semi-clear conscience.

 

Her bank account has skyrocketed with all the real estate money. It's well over half a million just from the buildings. Benny's bank account was hefty as well. He's left Emma with a small fortune, in her eyes.

She barely touches it as the months go by. She travels around the east coast for a long while, even staying in Tallahassee for a few months. She sleeps in her car again, refusing to waste Benny's money on motels.

 

She makes it to Boston about a year after Benny's death. She likes the atmosphere and decides to settle. The gypsy lifestyle was starting to take a toll. She finally uses his money to put a down payment on an apartment on the nice part of town but does get a job in bounty hunting to cover the rent.

 

She settles down and drowns in the routine. Benny's ashes find a permanent spot on the mantle in the living room.

 

Simply put: life moves on. It's boring, lonely, and so depressing, but it's secure, something she never thought she'd have. So yes, she buys a cupcake and a candle and spends her birthday by herself, but she's not sleeping in her car and she's not crying herself to sleep every night.

 

Then she wishes she wasn't so lonely as she blows out the candle, a knock reverberates throughout her apartment, and her life becomes just a little complicated.

 

~|SQ|~

 

Her son is sitting next to her in the car and it makes Emma freak the fuck out. They're parked in front of some big mansion, where her kids’ mom is probably scared beyond belief, and she can't help but wish she could be alone in her apartment. She wishes she didn't answer the door. She's not some Savior and she's not his mom, but he's looking at her like she'll solve all of his problems. Emma's pretty sure she'll just cause _more_ problems.

 

A light flickers on right behind the front door of the white mansion and her kid, Henry, sighs as Emma jumps out of the car. She pulls him out of the passenger seat with difficulty.

 

"Please don’t take me back there!" Henry whispers hurriedly as she tries to pry Emma's fingers from his arm.

 

Emma sighs. "I have to. I’m sure your parents are worried sick about you."

 

"I don’t have parents. Just a mom and she’s evil." Henry hisses and Emma's heart drops for the woman behind the white door.

 

"Evil? That’s a bit extreme, isn’t it?" She tries to reason with him. The kids too young to understand true evil, if such a thing even exists. Emma tends to believe the world isn't so black and white. It's full of shades of grey and ability to change.

 

"She is! She doesn’t love me. She only pretends to!" He shakes his head and turns, ripping his arm from her grasp.

 

As she walks next to him toward the door, she starts to whisper, "Kid, I’m sure that’s not true--" but is interrupted by the front door flying open.

 

" _Henry_!"

 

Emma would know that voice anywhere. It's haunted her dreams for _years_. And now, she feels like she's going to pass out because Regina is running toward them, her tearful eyes on Henry, and Emma can't stop staring.

 

"Henry! Are you okay? Where have you been? What happened?" The questions come in a flurry but Emma's more focused on Regina's lips. God, she probably looks like such a creep but _it's Regina_. It's the woman she's never forgotten, the one she thought about being with and regretting that she lost the chance. She saw her get sucked through a damn portal. How is she _here_?

 

"I found my real mom!" Henry yells and _ouch_. Regina doesn't flinch, like she's heard it before, and Emma wants to shake the kid, but there's no time because Regina blinks once then her eyes shift to Emma.

 

Those brown eyes are everything she remembers, so complex and full of life, but there's one thing missing and it cracks Emma's heart in two. There's no recognition.

 

~|SQ|~

 

It only takes a few days for Emma to know Henry is right. These people are fairytale characters and they come from wherever Regina's from. The part she simply refuses to believe is that Regina is The Evil Queen. Regina is not _that_. She can't be. Emma doesn't believe it even after Regina's hurtful attempts to get rid of her, even after a damn chainsaw to an apple tree.

 

So she denies, denies, denies until Henry decides to simultaneously get creative and almost get himself killed in the mine. When Regina closes in and stands way too close, Emma's heart does a flip, thinking maybe Regina does remember something beneath it all, but things continue to escalate and get worse. Emma acts like a douche about Henry and maybe it's a bit of resentment over the fact that she has to remember what Regina's body felt like against hers while Regina fucks the Sheriff without a care.

 

When Regina admits everything in that hospital closet, Emma nearly breaks down, for so many reasons. Regina is The Evil Queen. The girl she once knew was buried under years of anger and thirst for vengeance. That girl doesn't truly exist.

 

Does this knowledge make Emma crave Regina any less? The answer is a resounding no, mostly because Emma loves any and every version of Regina. She loves the married, burdened Regina and the diabolical Regina and the villain on a redemption track Regina. She loves them all and she can't let it go. Even when she's taught every discretion and evil deed Regina has done, Emma loves her. She also can't stand her, but that's a whole other can of worms.

 

And when all evidence is against the Queen, Emma stands in front of her parents, which _holy shit_ , and states "I believe her" because all she can think about is a sobbing Regina lying next to her wishing that someone could believe in her for once.

 

It goes like that for so long, a push and pull between them. Eventually, Regina comes around and starts doing the right thing, even if her methods are a little dark. Then Peter Pan happens and Regina gives her the greatest gift anyone can. Emma never forgets that, even if they don't talk about it. That's their thing, in all honesty. They do these grand gestures, like giving Emma and Henry happy memories, then never talk about what it all means. Emma wants to talk though. She wants to tell Regina about their past, maybe get some answers, but then Robin comes along and Emma just wants to scream because he's not good enough and _if only Regina could remember_. But she doesn't and Emma doesn't say anything because that's how they are. Zelena comes around and stirs trouble.

 

She falls into Hook. He's easy and he wants her. She tries to fight him off but he's persistent and they get comfortable with each other. She always spends more time with Regina, even though Regina seems angry with her still. Bringing back Robin's wife was an honest mistake, though Emma kind of hopes it breaks them up. Then she drowns in ice cream because she feels guilty for thinking that.

 

They become _friends_ , which is better than nothing but way more painful than if Regina would just remember. After Robin leaves, which is a relief, Emma starts to feel hopeful again. It's short lived. Zelena ruins it.

 

The alternate universe is a trip, but eye opening in a shitty way. Even in an alternate timeline, Regina isn't her love and she starts to wonder if Regina isn't meant to be with her at all, that their meeting was forced and unnatural. So she turns to Killian Jones.

 

After her sacrifice isn't considered an act of true love because they're two women, she tries to love Hook. She tries to be all in. She buys a house and moves in with him. He makes her feel like property and his scathing words and blatant disregard for her feelings make for an unhealthy relationship, but Regina doesn't love her, no one but Hook loves her. So she stays with him because the person she really wants is in love, then in mourning, then surprised by a look-a-like of her true love, then mourning again. And by the time Regina seems ready to date, Emma's shopping for wedding dresses and she can't back out. She can't hurt Hook (even though that's all he does to her).

 

Their marriage is much like their dating stage. It's full of lies and anger and unhealthy coping mechanisms, like drinking rum at breakfast and disappearing into the Jolly Roger for hours on end. It only takes six years before Emma _snaps_. Even if she can't be with Regina, she refuses to settle for this sham of a marriage. She files for divorce and moves back with her parents. They own a nice cottage near Mifflin. He can have that house of horrors.

 

And now, Emma finds herself sitting at Regina's dining room table, waiting for the still single brunette to reappear with their dinner. Henry's off to college so they spend more time together to combat the loneliness and gush about their sons’ achievements.

 

"What are you thinking about?" She hears accompanied by the clacking of high heels. Regina takes the seat at the head of the table and places the fresh lasagna in front of them. Emma takes the spatula and serves them both.

 

"My life." Emma responds nonchalantly with a sad quirk of her lips. Regina's eyebrows lift as she takes a bite of the lasagna on her plate.

 

"Is this about Hook?" Regina still cringed when she says his name. Emma doesn't put too much thought into why. She can't give herself false hope.

 

"Partly. He does make an appearance." Emma clears her throat. "But I was reminiscing last night, thinking about how much my life has changed, and I guess the nostalgia carried over into today."

 

Regina hums. "Yes, I find myself doing that a lot as well. We've been through a lot." Emma nods, prepared to drop the subject, but Regina chuckles low in her throat. "Remember the time you took a chainsaw to my tree?"

 

"Remember it?" Emma grins. "It's seared into my brain."

 

Regina's grins falters slightly as she whispers. "Yes, it is."

 

Emma palms are sweaty and Regina's staring at her with a strange emotion she can't categorize so she shovels a large piece of food into her mouth and nearly chokes. Now Regina just looks amused, which is better than the unknown. Anyway, Emma's used to making a fool out of herself at this point.

 

"Do you remember the mine incident with Henry?" Regina asks after she drops her fork with a clank.

 

"How could I forget?" Emma replies, her voice gruff from the pasta still trapped in her windpipe.

 

Regina shifts in her seat. A leg brushes up against Emma's. "It was the first time I felt comforted by your presence."

 

"Seriously?" Emma guffaws. "You hated me."

 

Regina manages a small smirk but turns serious again as she states, "I felt both things at once. It was strange, but I just knew that you would save him because you loved him. It was hard to acknowledge you in a positive light but I was grateful you were there, even if I showed you dismissal and anger."

 

Emma wants to bring up how close Regina got to her, that she thought Regina was going to kiss her in front of that mine shaft, but she censors herself and instead smiles at the validation of her love for Henry. "I'm just glad he was okay. The kid really had a knack for getting himself into trouble."

 

"Mhmm." Regina takes a sip of her red wine. "You know what I truly miss?" Emma swallows the pasta she was in the midst of chewing and shakes her head. "Your clothing."

 

"My clothing?" Emma snorts. "You always made fun of the way I dressed!"

 

Regina leans back in her chair, crossing her arms and gripping the wine glass by the stem. "I said a whole host of things about you back then. Now I miss it. It definitely suited your personality better than your current wardrobe."

 

"Hey!" Emma pouts around her fork. "What's wrong with my clothes?"

 

"They're very... Mary Margaret." Regina muffles a laugh behind her hand. "It's bad, dear."

 

"Everyone has personal preferences--" Emma rolls her eyes. "And these aren't mine. They're what I thought Hook would like. This isn't me. It's like... the Stepford Wife version of me."

 

At Regina's snicker, Emma brings her magic forward and waves her hand. When the smoke clears, she's wearing tight dark blue jeans, a translucent long sleeve shirt, and brown lace-up boots. It's reminiscent of the clothing she wore when she first stepped into town. Emma looks at Regina triumphantly.

 

"Beautifully done." Regina drawls with a small smile. The brunette looks pleased at first but it slowly morphs into concern. "What're you going to do now that the divorce is final? In regards to love and marriage, I mean."

 

Emma pushes a lump of tomato around her plate as she thinks of a way to express this correctly without giving anything away. She darts her gaze to Regina then back to the plate as she says, "I met someone when I was young and I felt a firestorm for her, but I lost her--"

 

"Her?" Regina sounds composed but Emma can see her grip tightening on the stem of her wine glass. Emma confirms the question with a subtle nod. "Lily, I'm assuming? She's available, at least that's what Mal's been saying."

 

A flicker of jealousy roars through Emma at the mention of the dragon Regina has so much history with, but she shakes it off and corrects Regina. "It's not Lily. Look... it was a really complicated situation and it just became even more complex with time here in Storybrooke. I don't want to mess with things and screw up a friendship." Emma exhales slowly then grabs a piece of garlic bread from the basket in between them. "I can be happy with the way things are."

 

"You could be happier." Regina replies. Her tone is soft but anxious.

 

Emma takes a bite of the bread then sets it down on her plate to wipe her palms on her jeans. She avoids Regina's searching gaze at all costs. "I could be, but why ruin a good thing when she can't even remember our time together when we were young and she's never shown interest in me as an adult?"

 

It's silent between them for a little too long to be considered comfortable so Emma clears her throat, picks up her fork, and starts to eat with intensity. Regina doesn't move though; her eyes stay on Emma the whole time. She can _feel_ Regina's eyes on her.

 

As Emma takes a sip of her root beer, Regina utters, "Who is it?"

 

Emma takes her time swallowing the liquid, but sooner or later she has to give some type of answer. She goes with dispassionate. "It's not important."

 

"Emma, I hope you're aware that I will continue to badger you until you tell me." Regina places her wine onto the table and pushes it away from her.

 

Emma blanches but manages to wipe at her lips without cringing at the statement. She knows Regina's being honest. She's a stubborn woman that likes to know what's going on around her. She's not a fan of secrets, whether it be keeping them from her or spilling them to those that don't deserve to hear them. Emma pretends that Regina's insistence has to do with Henry, that she's worried Emma will bring a random woman into his life and mess with their little dynamic.

 

"You don't have to worry about another person invading our family, Regina." She reminds her delicately. Regina gives her a look that just screams _you idiot_ and Emma shrugs because that's them. Playful name calling and keeping true feelings hidden.

 

"I'm not worried about that, Swan. I'm simply curious about your past and who managed to capture your heart." Regina crosses her arms. "We're not exactly the type of friends to have girl’s nights where we braid each other's hair and talk about our crushes."

 

" _Our?_ That would imply you have something to share with the class, Madame Mayor." Emma holds in a chuckle as Regina's cheeks turn a lovely shade of pink. This conversation just became quite interesting.

 

"It was a figure of speech." Regina defends as she stands and takes Emma's plate just as she was ready to spear her last piece of pasta.

 

"Hey! I wasn't done with that!" She yells at Regina's retreating form. She rolls her eyes but scoops up the remaining plates and cutlery to follow Regina into the kitchen. When she walks into the kitchen, the brunette is viciously scrubbing at the plate in the sink, suds covering her forearms.

 

She gently lowers the plates to the wooden island top as she stares at Regina's rigid back. She obviously said something to set Regina off. She's just not sure what. Maybe it was the evasion of the question or maybe Regina didn't like that Emma turned it on her and flustered her. Either way, the only way she feels she can fix it is with honesty.

 

"I was in my early twenties when I met her. I only knew her for about twenty-four hours and, as crazy as it sounds, that day made me love her. There was this instantaneous connection, a chemistry so intense, and I fell into it. I lost her and I didn't see her again until I came here." Emma pauses, noting with satisfaction that Regina has lost the tension in her muscles. Regina's profile is backlit by the window over the sink as she turns slightly. "Then life happened and she and I never really got a chance. Even if we had a chance, she didn't remember the time we spent together when we were younger."

 

"So?" Regina whirls around to face her and crosses her arms. "Let’s say she doesn't remember... what stopped you from wooing her when you got here? If you two had such a strong connection upon meeting, why wouldn't that be true here?"

 

With a jolt, Emma takes in the words. She's never thought of it that way, in all honesty. She and Regina have chemistry, that's obvious to anyone paying an ounce of attention, but maybe they find themselves at the wrong time and place for their shot. Maybe they would've worked together as young teens with less baggage and hurt between them. Emma has changed so much since the night Regina was taken away and Regina has morphed into someone new, a hybrid of the girl Emma kissed in a hotel pool and of The Evil Queen. Maybe these versions of them aren't meant to be.

 

"People change." Emma says. It was a thought accidentally passing through her teeth.

 

"They do." Regina looks at her hands. "But chemistry, the type you speak of? It doesn't just disappear, Emma."

 

She's right and Emma knows it. She has no more excuses. Why didn't she pursue Regina? At first, it was because they were enemies, too busy one-upping each other to notice much else. As time went on, Emma became a coward, afraid of rejection and easily dragged into something simple with Hook. After that, she was obligated to be the perfect daughter, perfect wife, and perfect Savior, and those Emma's couldn't shatter the perfect illusion she'd built. Of course, that illusion was annihilated when Emma realized she didn't want to play a role to satisfy others. Too bad it took almost a decade to figure that out. 

 

Now, the dust has settled and the shattered illusion has been swept up and thrown out in the trash, and Emma's just as afraid as she was when walked into Regina's house for a glass of the best apple cider she's ever tasted. Yet there's a glimmer of hope in her that's expanding with each twitch of Regina's lips as the silence grows. Regina knows she's right, as per usual, and she's waiting for a half-assed excuse to come from Emma's mouth.

 

She's gonna be disappointed though, because Emma is _tired_. She wants to feel the rush of kissing Regina again, wants to hold Regina's naked body against hers and never let go, and she wants Regina to remember. She's not sure how she'll achieve any of those things but she's going to try anyway.

 

"You're right." Emma finally replies, much to Regina's obvious shock if the lowered jaw is anything to go by. "Maybe she and I aren't meant to be, but even if that's the case, I'm prepared to kick fates ass to be with her anyway." Regina's mouth snaps shut and those lips slowly lift into a smirk when Emma starts to advance on her.

 

"Are you interested in hearing what I think?" Regina inquires as she leans back against the countertop. Emma takes a few more steps, smoothly rounding the corner of the center island.

 

"Even if I'm not, you'll still tell me." Emma replies, amused now at the burst of confidence she feels.

 

" _As I was saying."_ Regina gives her a playful glare, and normally Emma would swoon because everything Regina does gives her butterflies now, but all she can think about is that moment at the beach when Emma said that same phrase. She can't help but wonder if it's a sign. Regina doesn't move, just watches as Emma inches closer, as she says, "I think you are meant to be with the person you truly love and wish to be with."

 

Emma can't hold back a snort. "Oh, come on, Regina. You started dating Robin because of pixie dust and Fate."

 

"Exactly. I should be the expert."

 

"You loved him though." Emma stops and stays rooted. Regina looks disappointed, but Emma's curious.

 

"I loved him." Regina repeats. "But I wasn't in love with him. I wanted to be happy and he did that for a little while, but eventually it wasn't enough. There was always something missing." Regina lets out a small chuckle. "When I started realizing it, I asked Tink what a soulmate was and she confirmed that a soulmate could be a best friend, a lover, or someone that comes into your life to change it. I'm starting to think Robin's purpose was to make me see that I was allowed to love and be loved.

 

Emma blinks in surprise. "Wow, that's actually... pretty cool."

 

Regina snorts, still managing to sound elegant as she does it, then tilts her head as she hits Emma with a probing gaze. "So... what are you going to do?"

 

It's a clear challenge, but Emma's still second guessing. She inhales shakily but does take the last few steps forward until Regina is within arms-length. The brunette looks unfazed and Emma worries that maybe she misread this whole thing but then Regina's lips tilt upward. So Emma summons her magic, searches her memory to quickly visualize the object she wants, and opens her palm. The keychain appears with a cloud of white smoke. It was buried in a box in her parents' basement, having been relegated to storage after Hook moved in with her.

 

Emma feels emotional just seeing it again. She clutches it in her palm while Regina watches on with curiosity.

 

"This belonged to her." She explains, her voice just above a whisper. Regina closes the remaining distance and places her hand on the closed fist holding the keychain. Regina's silent request is granted a moment later when Emma's fingers unfurl.

 

The light blue paint has chipped and eroded over time but the name is clear. Regina gasps lightly under her breath as she takes the knick-knack into her possession. Regina's thumb caresses the wood. She's staring at it like she's pleading for it to jog her memory, but it's not that easy. If it was, Emma's appearance on her porch years ago would've done the trick.

 

"How?" Regina's words caress Emma's cheek.

 

"I'm not sure exactly, even after all this time." Emma's shoulders sag under the weight of the moment. "About fifteen years ago, you appeared in front of me, looking my age. I know now that you were actually here in Storybrooke so I had been with someone from the past, which is really unbelievable considering it breaks so many rules of magic."

 

"Rules of magic became moot when your ex-husband rose from the dead." Regina grumbles. Yeah, Emma will never hear the end of _that_.

 

" _Anyway_ , you were taken back not long after you appeared." Emma shrugs. "I honestly haven't put much of my energy into figuring it out. I just know it happened."

 

Regina pierces her with a squinted gaze. "What exactly happened between us?"

 

"Nothing much, honestly." _I just fell in love with you._ "We hung out for a day and we just really liked each other." _We kissed and I got to feel your body on mine. It's been seared into my memory._

 

"You talk about my younger self like you worship the ground she walked on." Regina says evenly despite the discomfort clear in her expression.

 

"I had a massive crush on you when I was younger. I was infatuated with her." Emma pauses to lift Regina's chin until they're lips are close enough to touch if they angled their heads just right. "But I'm in love with you. She planted the seed and you made it fucking blossom until I couldn't see anything else. I fell in love with everything you are, including young Regina, The Evil Queen, my best friend, and everything in between."

 

The silence that comes is deafening and just as Emma's ready to bolt, Regina's lips crash against hers with so much intensity that Emma stumbles back into the center Island, banging her lower back hard enough to bruise. Emma feels her magic on her fingers, ever nerve is singing, and then it all bursts outward, leaving a calm to settle over them. Regina pulls back with a gasp and stares at Emma strangely.

 

"Regina?" Emma shifts away from the wooden island behind her and moves to Regina's side. The brunette watches her the entire time with that look Emma can't decipher. Her brown eyes are wet, eyebrows are scrunched, and her mouth is hanging open.

 

" _Emma_." Regina utters as that mouth closes to smile prettily. She's heard Regina say her names so many times in so many different tones, but this time it's said with _recognition_ and maybe even _love_. It sounds like the beach and the pool and the bathtub and that hotel room bed. "I remember, Emma." Regina explains even though Emma's already tearing up with the realization. Regina's smile wobbles. " _You're free with me_. That's what you said in that bathroom that made me want to love you."

 

Emma's a mess at this point. She can barely see through the tears accumulating in her eyes and her nose is running. She probably looks like a disaster. Yet Regina leans back in and pecks Emma's lips without hesitance. Emma's too shocked by the events that just happened to notice that Regina is dragging her to the master ensuite.

 

"That was True Loves kiss?" Emma whispers nasally as she wipes at her eyes.

 

"Yes, darling." Regina responds delicately. Emma's confused as to why Regina isn't freaking the fuck out right now, but she's not going to look a gift horse in the mouth, not tonight. As Emma takes a look at herself in the mirror and cringes, she hears the water turn on in the tub. When Emma quirks a questioning brow, Regina smirks.

 

"Let’s recreate that night and give it the ending it deserved, hmm?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully the last chapter will be up tomorrow. I haven't finished writing it yet. Let me know what you think :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is basically smut and some dialogue in between, but I hope you enjoy it!

Their bodies are positioned exactly as they were years before, but the atmosphere is sweeter, less muddled by nerves. Their relationship is solidified in every way and they know each other like no one else. It's a stark contrast to the anxiety and jitters that plagued their first-time bathing together.

 

"What happened after you got sucked into the portal?" Emma asks after a few moments of peaceful silence. Regina leans harder into Emma's torso and sighs.

 

"Zelena, whose ass I'm going to fireball into next Tuesday, was there with Rumple. Before I could ask what was happening, Zelena jumped into the portal and escaped Rumple's wrath. Then everything went dark. I'm assuming Rumple knocked me unconscious and used a memory spell to make me forget my time with you." Regina explains. Emma's hands move Regina's damp hair to place a peck onto the slippery slope of Regina's neck. "I suppose he didn't want me to have hope or to feel like someone cared."

 

"Maybe we should kick two asses into next Tuesday." Emma mutters bitterly into the olive skin under her mouth.

 

Regina sighs. "No, no. Let's just focus on this. They took enough time away from us."

 

Emma nods even though she's secretly planning Rumple's demise. Zelena kind of gets a pass considering they met because of her. Her frown disappears just as quickly as Regina turns in her embrace to face her. Emma palms a breast and smiles cheekily when Regina smirks.

 

"I see you're ready for the hotel bed portion."

 

"We totally weren't having sex that night, Regina." Emma says, remembering Regina's hesitance for most of that night.

 

"Perhaps that's what you thought." Regina replies, her trademark snark making an appearance. "I went into that bathroom to freshen up. I was planning on walking out of there naked, with teeth freshly cleaned and minty."

 

"No way." Emma shakes her head with a grin. "You were shaking like a leaf the whole time!"

 

"I was nervous at first, true, but you made me feel safe with your monologue in the bathroom." Regina seems lost in a memory and Emma can't blame her. While she's had years to analyze that night, the ability to do so is brand new to Regina.

 

"I felt comfortable with you too, which was a miracle at that time in my life. The only person I felt safe with was..." Emma trails off but Regina seems to instantly connect the dots.

 

"The man at the store that gave me my keychain." Regina finishes the thought with startling accuracy. She affirms with a nod and Regina adds, "He seemed like a good man."

 

"Benny was the best." Emma thinks about her hefty bank account and the urn packed away in the Bug's trunk where the spare tire should be. It's been there since she arrived and Emma feels shitty about it, but the story was too painful to tell so she hid the ashes. She thought about spreading them somewhere nice but the thought of parting with it felt wrong. Maybe she'll put it on her bedside table, like old times. Although if her relationship with Regina grew like she hoped, then Benny would have to stay in the closet when Regina came to visit the cottage. Emma internally rolls her eyes. Making love to a woman in her parents' cottage. Real smooth. God, she needed her own place.

 

"What happened to him?" Regina asks delicately. She probably saw the anguish on her face. Even after all this time, Emma's heartbroken over the loss.

 

"He died not too long after you went back." Emma responds with unbridled sadness piercing every bone in her body. She hasn't said those words out loud in so long, not since she had to relay the news to his tenants. Regina doesn't offer empty platitudes, but she wraps her arms around Emma's shoulders, holding tight as she kisses a crinkled forehead. It's reminiscent of the hotel pool and, just because of that, it's enough.

 

"Let's get out." Regina commands softly as she stands. Emma takes a second to just look, to spot the differences time has caused. Time is usually an unforgiving fire, but Regina avoided the flame. She looks so beautiful, sexy, and confident as she stands there looking down at Emma with a knowing smirk. Even she knows how amazing she looks with water dripping down and marking paths Emma will most certainly explore later. 

 

Emma's not as confident when she stands. The stretch marks still make feel her self-conscious and a little depressed, even though Regina now looks at them with honest joy and gratitude. The feeling is somewhat contagious though and Emma finds herself smiling lightly at the way Regina's eyes takes in each pink ragged line on her abdomen.

 

_He's not gone. She's not gone. They love you. It's okay._

 

She inhales and exhales slowly, counting out each length of breathing. A shrink in Boston swears by this stuff but Emma never feels settled by it. She still tries.

 

"I know having this reminder isn't easy," Regina's hand lays gently over the marks, "but it brought us here. I'd like to think he was meant to be _ours_."

 

This time Emma's smile can't be restrained. Yes, all of the pain and heartache culminated to this point. Her son had a life she wouldn't have been able to give him. She was living in her cramped car when she got out of prison and it wasn't the type of life she wanted for her newborn. Regina clothed him, loved him, and raised him to be the kind boy he is. And while the separation was hard and she cried herself to sleep for years, she gave him his best chance and he knows that now. He loves her and he loves Regina. She got to know her family, parents and extended family they built. And she got Regina. She gained a best friend and, apparently, a True Love.

 

"It was a hard decision but it was the right one. I know that." The words aren't accompanied by the usual sadness. "And because of you, I got to witness the firsts of my son’s life, even if I wasn't really there."

 

"It was real." Regina cups the back of Emma's neck. "You saw his life through my memories. I just transferred you into my position."

 

"I never thanked you for that." Emma's eyes dart from Regina's eyes to her mouth.

 

"You thanked me by being my closest ally and friend." Regina assures her. Their lips fuse together, neither sure who initiated the passionate kiss and neither really caring as long as it didn't end.

 

Without breaking the kiss, Regina backs them up until they're standing right in front of her bed. Then, without caring that they're both wet in more ways than one, Emma eases Regina onto the mattress.

 

This encounter holds fire and a roughness neither of them were capable of when they first met. Emma pulls at Regina's hair to suck a pulse point and Regina scratches lines down Emma's back when the blonde takes a nipple into her mouth and sucks hard. Emma enters Regina hard, unexpectedly, and Regina bites Emma's shoulder until teeth marks are bruised into pale skin.

 

" _Emma_." Regina moans as Emma curls her fingers and brings her thumb up to press on a pulsing clit. And without question, that's the best way her name has ever been uttered. The moans become incoherent as Emma's fingers move with more intensity, going deeper with each stroke. Then Emma drops down between strong thighs and sucks Regina's clit into her mouth.

 

" _Yes_." Regina's moans reverberate throughout the mansion as she comes. Emma's so wet at this point that when she reaches down and circles her clit with her fingers, she's joining Regina over the edge within seconds.

 

They're an absolute mess of limbs for about twenty minutes until Regina decides she needs to get a taste of her own. She slides down the comforter, still on her back, until her face is aligned with Emma's glistening center. She dives in eagerly and has Emma writhing, riding Regina's mouth with conviction. Regina reaches up and squeezes a heaving breast. Emma hands burrow into Regina's dark hair and she rides the mouth under her pussy until she feels the pressure in her abdomen explode outward in an orgasm so hard she's seeing stars.

 

" _Oh, fuck_." Emma drops into the mattress next to Regina, who's licking her wet lips and cleaning up her chin with a quick swipe of the comforter.

 

"Worth the wait?" Regina asks smugly, that confident grin growing at Emma's stunned chuckle.

 

"You know it was, Regina. Quit being so smug. I fucked you so hard your screams alerted authorities in New Mexico." Regina doesn't even try to pretend it isn't true and they both descend into quiet laughter. She can't speak for Regina, but she feels stupidly happy right now.

 

"Henry is going to be so ecstatic when he finds out about this." Regina looks down at Emma's nude form. "Well, not _this_. We can leave this small detail out."

 

"You think he'll be happy?" Emma questions.

 

"Definitely. He's been trying to get me to admit my feelings to you for years now." Regina says it so leisurely that Emma almost had a stroke.

 

" _Your feelings? Years?_ " Emma sputters as she sits up and looks down at Regina incredulously.

 

"Oh, don't look at me like that." She grumbles. "I never thought you liked me back." Regina's hand rubs at her temples. "My god, I sound like a prepubescent teen."

 

Emma falls back onto the mattress with a thump and a groan. "We wasted so much time."

 

"It doesn't matter--"

 

"Of course it matters!" Emma cries out angrily. "It's my fault! I had all of the knowledge and I was too afraid to act on it. I made so many excuses and justifications for not telling you."

 

"Do you want to hear what I think?" Regina repeats her infamous phrase, making Emma whine into a pillow. Regina takes the pillow from her hands and tosses it back toward the others. She takes Emma's hands into her own and kisses a pale knuckle. "I think this is our time. Perhaps we needed to go through everything we have for a reason. But truly... the only thing that matters is that we got here."

 

Emma exhales roughly through her nose but nods reluctantly. "We got here."

 

Regina fidgets with her fingers and avoids her gaze. "You told me you were in love with me and--"

 

"You don't have to say it back if that's not how you feel yet. I'm a big girl--"

 

"Could you shut up and let me finish?" Regina growls. Maybe Emma's losing her mind because that sounded sexy as all hell. "I was going to say that I'm in love with you too, you idiot. _For Christ's sake_ , Emma, we had True Loves kiss."

 

"I know, I know. But seriously?" Emma's question is met with a playful glare and Emma shrugs. "My parents are going to freak the fuck out though."

 

"Your parents planted that mistletoe last Christmas." Emma chokes on her own saliva. Regina just smiles fondly at her. "Your mother was furious with you for kissing me on the cheek."

 

"The hell--Did everyone know how we felt about each other except for us?" Emma cranes her neck just in time to see Regina purse her lips. "Oh _shit_ , did everyone know?"

 

"Henry says the entire town ships us." Regina pats Emma's stomach patronizingly. "It's a good thing you finally made a move tonight. I was becoming impatient."

 

"This is... this is _insanity_." Emma whines.

 

"I did tell you that it's been years." Regina slides onto her side and drapes an arm across Emma's torso, right under her breasts. Just as Emma starts to feel drowsy, Regina chuckles deeply. "Hook is going to burst into flames when he hears about this."

 

"Can we please not talk about him in bed... _or ever again?_ " Emma tacks on sarcastically. Her obsession with Hook had faded quickly after marriage. He became more aggressive, possessive, and demanding once they were legally bound, and Emma started to gradually resent him. She noticed fairly quickly that she loved that he wanted her, fought for her, and that she was his everything, but didn't love the man behind it all. In the end, she realized she didn't want to be _everything_ to her lover. Being everything led to obsession and obsession isn't love.

 

With Regina, Emma felt like a friend, someone important and worthy of love, but Regina had Henry and Emma's parents. She had a whole support system. With Regina, Emma felt _free_.

 

"You know he's still hoping you'll change your mind and go back to him." Emma's knocked from her thoughts by Regina's scathing tone. "He's been telling Snow that this divorce is a _phase_."

 

"I wish he'd just let it go." Emma mutters as she curls into Regina's body.

 

"You were his entire life, Emma. He lost the life he'd gotten used to. He's in denial." Regina reminds her softly. It's odd to hear the brunette defend Hook in any way. They never got along, which makes sense now. They saw each other as a threat, even though Emma would've chosen Regina if she'd known. She'll always choose Regina.

 

"I know you're right. I'm just tired of fighting with him and slamming doors in his face. Why can't he just leave me alone?" Emma grumbles, her frustration bringing tears to her eyes. Regina doesn't respond, but she runs her fingers through golden strands of hair and Emma feels the tension in her muscles lessen with each stroke. "I'm sorry. This is supposed to be about us."

 

" _Us_ includes an ex-husband, a deceased boyfriend that procreated with my sister, two idiots pushing us under a mistletoe, and a young man that's going to fist bump when he finds out there is an us." Regina chuckles as she mentions their son. "I'm here for all of it."

 

"Yeah, I'm all in." Emma asserts with a serene grin on her lips. "I also would like to be all in _you_ again."

 

"Hmm, I'm sure." Regina hums as Emma sucks hard right behind her ear. It'll leave a nice little mark that Regina will probably scramble to cover with her hair for days to come. "Emma?"

 

"Yeah?" Emma mumbles into Regina's pulse point.

 

"I'm sorry I disappeared." Regina utters into Emma's blonde hair with so much sincerity that it soothes her soul just a little. Emma leans up and kisses Regina's waiting lips softly. She's hoping her lover will feel every ounce of emotion, like the overwhelming surge of adoration for her.

 

"You _wanted_ to stay with me." Emma's words vibrate against their lips.

 

"I did. I knew you could feel like home if I gave it a chance." Regina cups Emma's cheek. "I don't believe people can fall in love so quickly, so I can't say it was love at first sight, but I knew you were meant to be someone important to me." Regina smiles and Emma kisses the scar above Regina's lips as it strains under the pull.

 

Something behind Regina catches Emma's attention. The keychain is sitting on Regina's side table. It feels right, like that's where it really belongs. It belongs with Regina. "You know Benny used to make those keychains by hand?"

 

Regina swivels to admire the piece with a small exhale of relief. That piece of wood has become a symbol for both of them, Emma thinks. "He did?"

 

"Yeah, he would get the wood scraps from his friend that made furniture and paint them, drill a hole for the chain, and sell them." Emma picks at her pointer fingers' cuticle. "He made me one once. It had the Bug on it, driving down the street toward his store, and he put a little heart around his building, like I was driving to him."

 

"Do you still have it?" Regina questions, curious but cautious.

 

"I was a dumb kid, you know? I thought it was stupid, that I was too cool for it, and I tossed it into the trash at a fast food place." Emma replies with muted anger. Even after all this time, she hates that she doesn't have it and constantly berates herself for being such an asshole. She'd do anything to have that keychain in her possession right now. "When he saw my empty key ring, fuck, his smile dropped so fast and he tried to laugh it off. Back then, I shrugged and rolled my eyes. Now, I wish I could shake my younger self. His keychain wasn't stupid. _I was_."

 

"He loved you, Emma." Regina consoles. Her body is pressed against Emma's and the blonde feels like she's burning from the inside out.

 

"I love him too." The corners of Emma's mouth lift for a second but quickly drop under a quivering bottom lip. She bites her tongue until the burning behind her eyes subsides. She changes the subject as quickly as she can. "So... do you have any, uh, toys?"

 

The question is supposed to make the mood romantic but Regina's shoulders shake with laughter. "I, uh, can't say I do." Regina apparently can do a great impression of Emma bumbling through social interaction.

 

She just floats right past the teasing. "I'm surprised you don't."

 

"I suppose you also think I have a sex dungeon in the basement." Regina's eyebrow lifts. "I was The Evil Queen, dear, not a dominatrix."

 

"Well, since Henry won't be around as much," They both take a second to lament the absence of their son, even though he's making them proud, "We can turn a guest room into a sex dungeon!"

 

"You're certifiable." Regina's expression is a mix between astonished and amused.

 

"I am certified in making you come." Emma replies salaciously.

 

Regina snickers, "You're so cocky."

 

Emma waves her hand as she sidles up to Regina and the brunette gasps when she feels a long appendage rub against her thigh. "I can be very cock-y."

 

"You're an absolute idiot." Regina mumbles breathily, which takes away any sting from the barb. Emma grins as she urges Regina onto her back and childishly hops into the space between Regina's thighs. Regina chides, "Must you act like a child?"

 

"What can I say? You make me giddy, Madame Mayor." Emma divulges conspiratorially, her cheeks pink. Regina softens immediately and presses a soothing kiss to Emma's still red lips. The joy running through their veins is loosening their inhibitions more effectively than any liquor. 

 

The mood quickly heats up with each touch of their lips and caress of tongues. Their rocking hips cause a friction so delicious it's almost too much, but Emma pulls back despite how incredible it feels. She pushes into Regina with a patient tenderness and it leaves them both panting by the time she's sheathed fully in Regina's slick heat.

 

They move in tandem and move in a rhythm that makes Emma grunt with each thrust. They're sweating with the exertion and panting hard but Emma's pace never slows. She works in and out until Regina's moans become shrill, then she places her thumb just right on Regina's engorged clit and manages small, quick circles that make Regina growl and buck her hips wildly. It only takes a few moments before they're both peaking, whimpering as they burrow into each other.

 

" _Shit, that was good_." Emma shakily exclaims through heavy pants. Regina hums in agreement, too boneless to move, but snaps her fingers to make the appendage disappear.

 

As they curl up underneath the silk covers and into each other not much later, Emma thinks about the road that led them here and wonders if things could've been different. She realizes that they couldn't have been together when they were younger. Regina had to have Henry and they needed to be a family. _This_ was the best outcome. Maybe things could've come together sooner, but maybe Regina is right. Maybe now is their time.

 

"Stop thinking so much." Regina mutters into her pillow. "Sleep."

 

Emma smiles nervously. "Promise you won't disappear this time?" She wants to sound playful but it's too shaky and lacks the confidence, and, of course, Regina sees right through it.

 

"I'll be right here when you wake up." Regina whispers kindly into her ear.

 

Maybe Fate wasn't such a bitch after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone that gave this story a chance, commented, gave kudos, or talked about it on Twitter/Tumblr. I'm really grateful to you all.

**Author's Note:**

> I pretty much have the entire story ready for posting, but I'm going to do this incrementally. However, I'm not a patient person so it'll probably be completely posted by next week ;)


End file.
